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Astraea's Infamous Add-On Story

The Hero: Colon Rots
Title: The Rerun of Colon Rots
Theme: Dr. Rots collides with an inconvenient realities.

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Chapter By
Good morning! For HIN 2,
I'm Ekristheh Akanora
Sunday, April 14, 2002 at 03:15:08
Fleetwood Mac's "Never Going Back Again" tinkled lightly from the car radio as Dr. Colon Rots pulled out of the driveway. Another day, another green, blue, electric yellow million dollars for the worker of wonders on his mission of rescue. Yes, he was back in the saddle after a brief "vacation", now ready to continue fighting his neverending battle for singlethood for all. He pulled onto the Innerstate, whistling off-key. Today, he would be seeing a number of clients, including the enigmatic Sherry, who was proving peculiarly resistant to his persuasion that she give up her delusions. Preoccupied with thoughts of Sherry's persistent proclivities, he didn't quite notice when the bouncy '70s yuppie theme slowed, darkened, slid into a gritty syrup of turn-of-the-century grunge guitar, and Lindsey Buckingham's twitter gave way to the compelling, smoky growl of Rob Thomas...
or was it..

Chapter By Tavam
Thursday, April 25, 2002 at 17:36:58
The sky slowly clouded over as he drove. And if he'd been paying attention, Dr. Rots would have realized that he was listening to a cover song, not something that ever should have been on commercial radio. But he was neither a music conniseur, nor inclined to care for the finer details of his surroundings. And that was why, when the bike came barrelling up on his left and cut him off, he...

Chapter By Andy
(Aaaaa I hate being sick) Wednesday, May 15, 2002 at 14:09:26
braked sharply, but didn't notice the distinctly alien appearance of either the exquisitely streamlined bike or its rider...

Chapter By Jeren 'n Tav
Saturday, May 25, 2002 at 23:31:10
"Now where is that... address?" he muttered, fumbling around on the car seat for the card with Sherry's address. No matter how many times he visited the poor deluded woman, he could never keep the address in his head. Strange, that, since he usually had an impeccable memory for details. But then there was a great deal strange about Sherry.
"Ah-ha!" he exclaimed as he hauled the card free of a pile of paper. Holding it up level with the dash, he glanced at it, then out at the street. There was something wrong with the signs in this part of town, though he couldn't quite pin it down. Shaking his head, he found his exit and turned down the surprisingly dim and gritty street....

Chapter By john
Sunday, June 9, 2002 at 03:42:52
He was getting an awful headache, and the radio wasn't helping......

Chapter By Jay
Sunday, June 9, 2002 at 03:58:46
He also found that he'd forgotten to shave that morning. For that matter, he wasn't wearing a tie. How could he have come out dressed like that?

Chapter By John
Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 09:54:47
He stopped in a parking lot that looked a bit less seedy than the other ones to try to regain his composure. The radio had stopped smudging his consciousness with MB20 and was now blithering commercials...

Chapter By Anonamyous
Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 01:08:29
"Tickets are on sale for a limted time only or win your pair from KVQR!" He thought about his cell phone only to realise that it was on his nightstand. He couldn't find the address, and even if he could, he wouldn't dare go into the house looking like this. Rots slipped the car into gear and pulled out of the lot.

Chapter By laoshi
Saturday, September 21, 2002 at 01:51:09
So our hero Rots drove back home, tail between his legs. Darn, he realized, he ain't going to make it to Sherry's place tonight. He managed to charge his battery and phone her to apologize about not making his appointment, but could only leave a message.
So frustrated was Rots that he drank a mickey of vodka and lumbered into bed, frustrated with the miserable condition he had wound himself into.
Sherry was thinking about Rots, thinking about calling him, thinking about the tensions between them... "does he know my secrets", she asked herself, "does she know my horrible secrets?"
The very next morning, Rots was...

Chapter By emma
Wednesday, September 25, 2002 at 10:12:22
shot and killed by an Elvis look-a-like who ahd just escaped from....

Chapter By Johnny
Wednesday, September 25, 2002 at 10:37:31
waked up by a phone call.
A mysterious but oddly familiar voice.....
"Good MORning Dr. Rotsss....."
Dr. Rots found himself thinking about pickles.

Chapter By aylijo
Saturday, October 5, 2002 at 00:30:00
Which was a bit ironic, considering he was dead. "An Elvis look-a-like isn't a bad way to go, though, he thought as he struggled to draw recognition from the sinister yet comforting voice on the phone. "But, then again, he thought, it makes sense to think of pickles when one is answering a phone post-humously... What else would one think of!"
"Dr. Rotssss... Are you LIStening?" The voice crooned, "We have Sherry. If you wish to see your patient alive, you will follow our directions and leave the police out of it. We'll call you in two hours with further instructions. Have a pleasant Morning!" The voice sounded down-right chipper.
Dr. Rots thought to himself...

Chapter By Kai
Wednesday, November 6, 2002 at 16:29:47
"My underpants are itchy, I need to switch fabric softeners" Dr. Rots decided that he did have enough time to run to the laundrymat and freshen up his undies. Lets face it people, when dealing with life and death situations you just can't think straight while your boxers are itchy.

Chapter By Shao & friends
Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 09:39:21
So off he went to the laundry... it was a really old-fashioned one with church pew seats and a pool table and a lot of pinball machines, and a little TV up high in one corner. Dr. Rots put his stuff in to wash and sat there wondering how he'd managed to sink so low. One year you're sipping champagne and munching caviar bought with the proceeds of countless therapy sessions with all his clients who'd been sold on his theories.. the next, you're sitting in a seedy laundrette watching your shorts go into the spin cycle. So Dr. Rots sat philosophically there watching it spin, it seemed like it was going to spin forever, and he somehow couldn't take his eyes off it. And from the TV came the sounds of a familiar commercial...
"Hiya friends, Ralphie Allison, Ralphie Allison Motors, 98022 Ventura Boulevard, seventeen blocks of the FINEST new and used minds this side of La Honda. We've got your Essence, we've got your Personality, IIF, ME's, DID's, MPD's, LSMFT's, all right here in Physicalspace, and completely board certified by the Celestial Intelligent Energy. Yessirree friends, you don't have to take my word for it, you can look it up yourself in the Akashic Records, your Inner Self-Helper knows these are the best deals so come on down to Allison's WONDERLAND ..."

Chapter By Jay and Andy
Wednesday, January 8, 2003 at 18:20:18
In his befuddled condition, Dr. Rots heard his colleague /rival yapping out the above ridiculous information, and believed it was possible this was some kind of a lead to Sherry's whereabouts. He half suspected Dr. Ralphie of being in league with those darn Illuminati anyway -- it would certainly explain his overuse of acronyms. "CIE" indeed. That was probably code for CIA.

Chapter By Anthea
Saturday, January 11, 2003 at 18:19:26
But on the other hand... hearing Ralphie's commercial had reminded him of the sorry condition his car was in. He wondered if one of Sherry's other personalities had been tampering with it while it was parked in his reserved space outside the clinic. Probably a rogue Protector Alter or something, he thought with a disdainful sniff.
He wanted a vacation. He wanted a very long vacation.

Chapter By KTJ
Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 11:23:44
As Dr. Rots gathered up his tatty underwear and so forth, he decided he would go to Ralphie Allison's and see what kind of vehicles he had to offer ("probably grungy spaceships," he muttered under his breath, earning him a startled look from the Greek lady who was folding clothes at the next table) and see if he knew anything about Sherry. And if not, Dr. Rots thought to himself, he'd track her down if it meant going to .. Tahiti. Or Tierra Del Fuego. Or the far off Isles of Langerhans.....
He departed just as a strangely accoutered deep blue SUV pulled in, flashing an array of rainbowy underlights. Something incomprehensible was carefully painted on the rear doors, and it was apparently equipped with a sound system to end all sound systems, to judge by the fuzzgrunge that filled the air....

Chapter By gavin hepworth
Thursday, March 13, 2003 at 09:53:43
It was a re-vamp of sound of silence by simon and garfuncle, Dr Rots grimised at the hi-volume evil that came from the speakers and he decided to do something about it.
The doctor walked over to intercept the driver and just as he drew near a small bear ran out as from no where and ate the driver.
"ho ya dont see that everyday" he said to himself and decided to go for a coffee in holand instead.

Chapter By El Ron
Friday, March 21, 2003 at 03:39:53
"Coffee's not gonna' cut it", he whispered on second thought. He needed to spice things up,.....pull himself together. Remembering seeing a small looking shack of a bar on the way to the Wash-o-matic. He headed up the street from which he had come.Thinking tequila was the only way to chase that mysterious woman from his mind,..he new he had to hurry.
Inside Tabernackles, the air was thick, and you could almost taste the smoke. Col took a seat next to a rather husky woman with what just might have been a beard. Requesting a double of Jose, he noticed the soft sounds of Stevie Wonder flowing from the jukebox.He loved some Stevie. Reminiscing he thought of his long dead wife. Her beauty,...so graceful. They used to dance to this song for hours .God he missed her. She was murdered nine long year ago, and still it seemed no more than one. The bartender slammed down a double-shot of tequila, bringing the Dr. back into reality.
"Don't let that bearded lady there bother yuh, she's always beggin' sumbody fer sum booze, know what'ah mean??"
" Got ya'",
"Ya' need sumthin' you just holler now"
"Will do",it appears he wandered into a hick bar.What luck ,He thought miserably. Knowing the whole time, that a little time with a woman was perhaps what the doctor ordered. That woman earlier,..why was she in the shadows? When he called out to her,...why did she run screaming? None of it made sense. Something strange was in town.

This paragraph is by elaq The bearded lady didn't say anything, though. Just sat there sipping her beer and nodding to the music. When she finished her drink she turned to Dr. Rots and said "Have you been feeling lately like something strange has hit town?"

This paragraph is by Azusa Colon frowned, setting down his shotglass on the grimy counter. He wondered how much she knew. He had been trying to minimize publicity for his latest book on the CIA's secret "Project Pineapple" to purposely induce multiple personalities in test subjects, in conjunction with the Illuminati, BBC, CBS, NFL and Domino's Pizza, which could then be used for their own ends. (It did explain a lot about why Domino's Pizza tasted indistinguishable from the cardboard boxes it was delivered in. You had to look for the evidence everywhere-- it was so cleverly hidden!) Of course, the People Who Knew didn't like it that he Knew. He was certain he was being followed everywhere, in his car, at the supermarket, on his private yacht cruises in the Bahamas. Was the bearded lady one of -them-? He scrutinized her warily over the edge of the glass of tequila.

This paragraph is by Gav And just then an otter carrying a news paper and stole colon's shoe lace and ran away tro the safety of a passing ship.

This paragraph is by `Cheru And a few clowns danced around Colon, cackling evily, before running off in different directions.

This paragraph is by E. Chen "Did you see that?" the bearded lady asked. "What if I did?" Colon replied warily. "Well...." she hesitated, then squared her shoulders as if coming to a decision. "I have something that might interest you. It's in my purse. I'm going to reach in and get it." She reached slowly into her purse.....

This paragraph is by anonymous and found a gun she took it out and shout everyone except her x boyfriend named...........

This paragraph is by Andy & Kai garth of izod But to get back to Dr. Rots...

This paragraph is by Jay Young In the confusion, the bearded lady grabbed Dr. Rots' elbow and hustled him out of there into the back hallway where the bathrooms were. "Listen, I've gotta talk fast. Allison's got Sherry. You've got to get her out of there. They're going to use her for a spokesmodel." She handed Dr. Rots a wad of $500 bills. "You're going to need some help, and plenty of tequila." As Dr. Rots stared at the loot, the bearded lady looked around and said "I gotta go. They could be listening. I'll be at the Starlite Lounge next Wednesday at 7." With that, she dashed out the service exit and vanished, leaving Dr. Rots .....

This paragraph is by Bandit ...standing in the middle of a deserted, rainwashed city street. The lights were just going out on the marquee of the Grand Maison, which looked anything but, while a resigned looking barkeep apathetically swept the last bit of broken glass off the sidewalk and into the gutter. A faded sign proclaimed the ancient nightspot's claim to fame: food LIQUOR no cover! His head ached. There was a metallic taste in his mouth that he suspected was blood, since his lip felt raw and tender. Rots was soaked and disshevelled,and glanced to his left, to find he was looking at...himself?
"Sherry! You've had a bit of a wild ride, haven't you?" Rots asked gently, taking her elbow.
Rots, er, Sherry looked down, taking in her mud impregnated Doc Martins and the run in her goth minidress. Goth minidress? "Wha...?"
"You called me last night, at home. You didn't sound right. You were rambling on about aliens and bearded ladies and the CIA. Sherry," Rots continued gently, "it sounded like you had taken on me as one of your alters...I came as quickly as I could but it took me a while to find you."
Sherry sat down hard on the wet pavement. "I'm not Rots?"...

This paragraph is by Kai Meanwhile on the other side of the Planet, the Grad High Illuminator was meeting with his secrect council in charge of project "Never stub your toes in the dark". "How goes it with the Rot subject my minions?", he ask in his dry and cracked voice. A voice that make you guess him more ancient then any other person in the world. "Director 60 watt soft glo, Report".

This paragraph is by Kai At that momment 30 watt glanced at the recorder, his irregular scribbilings punctuated by the sucking sounds of his Juicy Juice box. "Damn thought 30 watt, I want some tropical berry mix". He looked down at what the recorder had copied from the night's meeting. "What a moron", he thought, "What the heck is a Grad, and shouldn't that be asks??. We need to stop sacrificing to the great flame, it seems to attract a lower calibur henchperson".

This paragraph is by people who shouldn't be up this late well, that explains why all the members of the cabal were wearing mortarboards along with their Black Gowns....
"Enough," the Illuminator spoke. "60 watt, speak."
60 watt fumbled with his presentation. "We misdirected Dr Rots to the laundrette, and exposed him to the encoded message cleverly disguised as a TV commercial. He fell for it completely, and by this time tomorrow he will have been completely internalised... into .. ~*THOUGHT*SPACE*~."
The Great Illuminator nodded. "All well and good," he said. "Does he suspect at all that his own system is being exploited?"
30 watt broke up laughing until 60 watt glared at him (pretty good trick for a softglo) and shut him up. "He doesn't even know he has a system, Your Effulgence..."

This paragraph is by 16-14-12 music took control of sherry and she became debbie holing brian tight so he wouldnt fall and get hurt, where the heck is that darned adress?I had it here a minute ago,oh well. he said as he slithered back into his car. the road is wet and the fog makes seeing anything but the lights of the city far down below. he parked the car and slowly looked over the rim of the cliff,he thought about jumping but the voices in his head kept saying,screaming no dont do it. he quickly stood back from the cliff and then she appeared,the tall blonde beach loving feary sissy. As she/he walked back to the car she/he muttered 'I need a drink".

This paragraph is by Kai "Then again maybe not," came the next thought. "My grammer and spelling seem to be sufficently impaired as is." The debbie rots being got back into his/her car and rolled down the windows. "Maybe some coffee will do me some good" he/she muttered. After all the lack of sleep from the past few days has been a trying experience. At that momment Rots/debbie glanced into the rear view mirror and noticed something that both shocked and deeply disturbed him/her.
It was a Starbucks....
"I could have sworn that wasn't there a minute ago," he/she thought, "I sure could use a double expresso".
Meanwhile back in the inner sanctum of the Grand High Illuminator a handful of men sit in a smoky room, drinking vodka, and speaking in hushed voices.
"How goes project Omega Delta Gamma Gamma Kai Zeta..oh damnit you know what I'm talking about, who came up with this stupid name anyway?"
"It goes well my master," answered the man in the frilly purple tutu, "We are setting up Starbucks all around the world, impregnating our various brews with the mind control drugs, driving the unsuspecting fools to crave coffee!!" "Soon the whole world will be a Starbucks based economy!" The minion glanced down at the the papers in front of him. "We are also looking into replacing some of the idiot henchpersons, not much luck there i'm afraid."
"Good enough for now," muttered the master, "good enough for now...."

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Chapter By El Ron Friday, March 21, 2003 at 03:39:53	"Coffee's not gonna' cut it", he whispered on second thought. He needed to spice things up,.....pull himself together. Remembering seeing a small looking shack of a bar on the way to the Wash-o-matic. He headed up the street from which he had come.Thinking tequila was the only way to chase that mysterious woman from his mind,..he new he had to hurry. Inside Tabernackles, the air was thick, and you could almost taste the smoke. Col took a seat next to a rather husky woman with what just might have been a beard. Requesting a double of Jose, he noticed the soft sounds of Stevie Wonder flowing from the jukebox.He loved some Stevie. Reminiscing he thought of his long dead wife. Her beauty,...so graceful. They used to dance to this song for hours .God he missed her. She was murdered nine long year ago, and still it seemed no more than one. The bartender slammed down a double-shot of tequila, bringing the Dr. back into reality. "Don't let that bearded lady there bother yuh, she's always beggin' sumbody fer sum booze, know what'ah mean??" " Got ya'", "Ya' need sumthin' you just holler now" "Will do",it appears he wandered into a hick bar.What luck ,He thought miserably. Knowing the whole time, that a little time with a woman was perhaps what the doctor ordered. That woman earlier,..why was she in the shadows? When he called out to her,...why did she run screaming? None of it made sense. Something strange was in town.
This paragraph is by elaq	The bearded lady didn't say anything, though. Just sat there sipping her beer and nodding to the music. When she finished her drink she turned to Dr. Rots and said "Have you been feeling lately like something strange has hit town?"
This paragraph is by Azusa	Colon frowned, setting down his shotglass on the grimy counter. He wondered how much she knew. He had been trying to minimize publicity for his latest book on the CIA's secret "Project Pineapple" to purposely induce multiple personalities in test subjects, in conjunction with the Illuminati, BBC, CBS, NFL and Domino's Pizza, which could then be used for their own ends. (It did explain a lot about why Domino's Pizza tasted indistinguishable from the cardboard boxes it was delivered in. You had to look for the evidence everywhere-- it was so cleverly hidden!) Of course, the People Who Knew didn't like it that he Knew. He was certain he was being followed everywhere, in his car, at the supermarket, on his private yacht cruises in the Bahamas. Was the bearded lady one of -them-? He scrutinized her warily over the edge of the glass of tequila.
This paragraph is by Gav	And just then an otter carrying a news paper and stole colon's shoe lace and ran away tro the safety of a passing ship.
This paragraph is by `Cheru	And a few clowns danced around Colon, cackling evily, before running off in different directions.
This paragraph is by E. Chen	"Did you see that?" the bearded lady asked. "What if I did?" Colon replied warily. "Well...." she hesitated, then squared her shoulders as if coming to a decision. "I have something that might interest you. It's in my purse. I'm going to reach in and get it." She reached slowly into her purse.....
This paragraph is by anonymous	and found a gun she took it out and shout everyone except her x boyfriend named...........
This paragraph is by Andy & Kai	garth of izod But to get back to Dr. Rots...
This paragraph is by Jay Young	In the confusion, the bearded lady grabbed Dr. Rots' elbow and hustled him out of there into the back hallway where the bathrooms were. "Listen, I've gotta talk fast. Allison's got Sherry. You've got to get her out of there. They're going to use her for a spokesmodel." She handed Dr. Rots a wad of $500 bills. "You're going to need some help, and plenty of tequila." As Dr. Rots stared at the loot, the bearded lady looked around and said "I gotta go. They could be listening. I'll be at the Starlite Lounge next Wednesday at 7." With that, she dashed out the service exit and vanished, leaving Dr. Rots .....
This paragraph is by Bandit	...standing in the middle of a deserted, rainwashed city street. The lights were just going out on the marquee of the Grand Maison, which looked anything but, while a resigned looking barkeep apathetically swept the last bit of broken glass off the sidewalk and into the gutter. A faded sign proclaimed the ancient nightspot's claim to fame: food LIQUOR no cover! His head ached. There was a metallic taste in his mouth that he suspected was blood, since his lip felt raw and tender. Rots was soaked and disshevelled,and glanced to his left, to find he was looking at...himself? "Sherry! You've had a bit of a wild ride, haven't you?" Rots asked gently, taking her elbow. Rots, er, Sherry looked down, taking in her mud impregnated Doc Martins and the run in her goth minidress. Goth minidress? "Wha...?" "You called me last night, at home. You didn't sound right. You were rambling on about aliens and bearded ladies and the CIA. Sherry," Rots continued gently, "it sounded like you had taken on me as one of your alters...I came as quickly as I could but it took me a while to find you." Sherry sat down hard on the wet pavement. "I'm not Rots?"...
This paragraph is by Kai	Meanwhile on the other side of the Planet, the Grad High Illuminator was meeting with his secrect council in charge of project "Never stub your toes in the dark". "How goes it with the Rot subject my minions?", he ask in his dry and cracked voice. A voice that make you guess him more ancient then any other person in the world. "Director 60 watt soft glo, Report".
This paragraph is by Kai	At that momment 30 watt glanced at the recorder, his irregular scribbilings punctuated by the sucking sounds of his Juicy Juice box. "Damn thought 30 watt, I want some tropical berry mix". He looked down at what the recorder had copied from the night's meeting. "What a moron", he thought, "What the heck is a Grad, and shouldn't that be asks??. We need to stop sacrificing to the great flame, it seems to attract a lower calibur henchperson".
This paragraph is by people who shouldn't be up this late	well, that explains why all the members of the cabal were wearing mortarboards along with their Black Gowns.... "Enough," the Illuminator spoke. "60 watt, speak." 60 watt fumbled with his presentation. "We misdirected Dr Rots to the laundrette, and exposed him to the encoded message cleverly disguised as a TV commercial. He fell for it completely, and by this time tomorrow he will have been completely internalised... into .. ~THOUGHTSPACE*~." The Great Illuminator nodded. "All well and good," he said. "Does he suspect at all that his own system is being exploited?" 30 watt broke up laughing until 60 watt glared at him (pretty good trick for a softglo) and shut him up. "He doesn't even know he has a system, Your Effulgence..."
This paragraph is by 16-14-12	music took control of sherry and she became debbie holing brian tight so he wouldnt fall and get hurt, where the heck is that darned adress?I had it here a minute ago,oh well. he said as he slithered back into his car. the road is wet and the fog makes seeing anything but the lights of the city far down below. he parked the car and slowly looked over the rim of the cliff,he thought about jumping but the voices in his head kept saying,screaming no dont do it. he quickly stood back from the cliff and then she appeared,the tall blonde beach loving feary sissy. As she/he walked back to the car she/he muttered 'I need a drink".
This paragraph is by Kai	"Then again maybe not," came the next thought. "My grammer and spelling seem to be sufficently impaired as is." The debbie rots being got back into his/her car and rolled down the windows. "Maybe some coffee will do me some good" he/she muttered. After all the lack of sleep from the past few days has been a trying experience. At that momment Rots/debbie glanced into the rear view mirror and noticed something that both shocked and deeply disturbed him/her. It was a Starbucks.... "I could have sworn that wasn't there a minute ago," he/she thought, "I sure could use a double expresso". Meanwhile back in the inner sanctum of the Grand High Illuminator a handful of men sit in a smoky room, drinking vodka, and speaking in hushed voices. "How goes project Omega Delta Gamma Gamma Kai Zeta..oh damnit you know what I'm talking about, who came up with this stupid name anyway?" "It goes well my master," answered the man in the frilly purple tutu, "We are setting up Starbucks all around the world, impregnating our various brews with the mind control drugs, driving the unsuspecting fools to crave coffee!!" "Soon the whole world will be a Starbucks based economy!" The minion glanced down at the the papers in front of him. "We are also looking into replacing some of the idiot henchpersons, not much luck there i'm afraid." "Good enough for now," muttered the master, "good enough for now...."