The Enigma/Light Scandal

The original WWIVnet posts.

[1|50] How many is a lot?
Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Thu Aug 19 22:43:04 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: I have been staying at my brother's house since it happened.
BY: Light #31 @5415

And at what point in pregnancy?

The vast majority of miscarriages happen in the first three months, with most of
these happening within the first few weeks.  If you've made it this far along,
you're probably ok.

I'd quit listening to these horror story tellers if I were you.

[2|50] Ok. Ok.
Name: Light #31 @5415
Date: Fri Aug 20 19:56:23 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: How many is a lot?
BY: Nightshade #303 @5415

I suppose I am looking to much at the bad side.  I am still scared though.

[3|50] delayed reaction to grief
Name: Queen Mother #33 @15286
Date: Fri Aug 20 02:05:26 1993
From: Alpha Complex [512-478-3332]
Re: You know,
BY: Light #31 @5415

Msg Status - No Reply Necessary

"But now, I am crying as much for my brother's child as I am for my father. As i
cry, I seem to be feeling better. My brother and I are both here...crying. But I
get the feeling, everything is going to be ok."

Delayed reaction to grief is not unusual. A person can lose someone  very  close
to them and not cry at  the  time.  Sometimes  they  even  feel  odd  about  it,
especially if they were very close to the one who died. I knew a woman who  lost
her father and didn't cry until years later when she attended the funeral  of  a
friend's father. She didn't even know the man...the tears  were  finally  coming
out for her own father. I am so glad that you and your brother are  letting  the
grief come out and am also glad that your sister-in-law  is  beginning  to  take
notice of herself and the world around her. I agree with the  advice  that  they
seek outside professional help (others have posted numerous  possible  sources).
We are all deeply concerned for you. Thanks for taking the time to keep  posting
on your progress.

I'm glad you're seeing your doctor frequently right  now.  What  does  s/he  say
about how your pregnancy is coming along?

[4|50] Crying comes when it is ready...
Name: -=<< Doc >>=- #1 @8414
Date: Sat Aug 21 23:23:10 1993
From: Whistlestop West [804-784-7014]
Re: You know,
BY: Light #31 @5415

At  first, a person might be so numb that they are not ready for  release  of 
emotions, the release that crying offers us.  I had a really good friend that 
died,  of an (accidental, we think) drug overdose. His mother called  me  and 
told me about it the day I came home from the hospital with my new  daughter.  
I  didn't cry.  I wondered why no tears came.  Then, almost a year  later,  I 
dreamed about my friend...and woke up crying and then I wept for him and  the 
waste  of  human life.  Tears come when they are ready and we are  ready  for 

[5|50] I started looking into support  groups today.
Name: Light #31 @5415
Date: Sat Aug 21 21:52:23 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: the comments about divorce
BY: Miss Scarlett #1 @3315

I did not get very far. I had to keep my sister-in-law from trying  to  committe
suicide. She seems to think it is a good way out of the pain. I have  been  with
her all day. She is asleep now, thank goodness. I will continue looking as  soon
as i know I can leave her alone with herself.

[6|50] I have been trying to get them counseling.
Name: Light #31 @5415
Date: Sat Aug 21 21:54:49 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: Light....
BY: Lovecat #2 @9939 [Sensual Seraph]

I figured that if I can get a counseler to come and talk with them in the  home,
then they can decide for themselves if they want to go to the support groups.

[7|50] Someone has already said it .
Name: Light #31 @5415
Date: Sat Aug 21 21:55:41 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: a suggestion...
BY: Captain Midnight #54 @8414

I am working on it.  Thank you for thinking about it.

[8|50] He has not said anything about divorce in the past 2 days.
Name: Light #31 @5415
Date: Sat Aug 21 21:57:29 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: Talk to him and tell him...
BY: Foxx #82 @2911

He is now getting concerned about his wifes behavior.  I will  take it as a 
good sign.

[9|50] I hope...
Name: Light #31 @5415
Date: Sat Aug 21 21:58:07 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: Odds favor
BY: The Traveler #1 @8267 (Religion?      )

I hope you are right.

[10|50] He has finally cried.
Name: Light #31 @5415
Date: Sat Aug 21 22:00:07 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: to Light on brother and his wife...
BY: Queen Mother #33 @15286

It took him a while, but he is grieving.

[11|50] I hope this is appropriate....
Name: Kari Ana Smith #8 @2911
Date: Tuesday, August 24, 1993   2:32 pm
From: The Bulls Locker I [209-883-4335]

eight  years ago I had my first miscarriage.  the doctors poo poo  the  whole 
thing as what happens to many women with their first pregnancy.  A year later 
I suffered yet another miscarriage.  Again the doctors poo pooed my fears and 
sent me on my way.  After a short period of time I changed doctors and  after 
many  tests  and  a lot of agony it was discovered that I  had  massive  scar 
tissue  surrounding  my  female organs and that this was the  cause  of  both 
miscarriages.  I  have had to learn to live with the knowledge that  my  body 
crushed my babies.  This is very difficult for me since it was necessary  for 
me  to  have a hysterectomy.  I can understand what Light and her  family  is 
going through.  I have been sending my thoughts and my prayers to them.   I'm 
truly sorry I can't say the pain will totally go away.  I still will wake  up 
in  the  middle of the night and cry for my loss.  This tradegy  has  brought 
back  so many memories for me.  It is so painful to deal with the loss  of  a 
child.  I will say that I have learned that when these situations occur  that 
it can make a relationship stronger when the parents reach out to each other.  
Lean on each other.  Please Light, tell your brother to hold his wife and not 
let her push him away.  It will compound the tragedy if they lose each  other 
as well.  If anyone needs any support I am as much here for all of you as you 
have  been here for me.  Please E-mail me if need me.  I really hope  I  have 
helped and not hurt.  

[12|50] Help?
Name: Jalapeno #254 @8119
Date: Mon Aug 23 12:05:42 1993
From: The Driver's Seat BBS [801-973-0193]

Am I beyond Help???

[13|50] Well,
Name: Light #31 @5415
Date: Mon Aug 23 02:07:55 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: delayed reaction to grief
BY: Queen Mother #33 @15286

My pregnacy is coming on great. They took pictures of the baby in my  stomach.
Um, well, both of the babies. WOW! Two  babies!  Twins!  Never  before  in  my
family, that I know of, has this happened! It is rare for full blooded Indians
to have twins. I hope they are both going to be ok. Thank you for  taking  the
time to check in on me. I am begining to feel like I can  say  anything  here.
Thanks for caring.

[14|50] I am glad it happened for you.
Name: Light #31 @5415
Date: Mon Aug 23 02:09:25 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: Crying comes when it is ready...
BY: -=<< Doc >>=- #1 @8414

It seems to hurt more when the tears do not come.  And when they do come, it 
is such a relief that you want to sing after the tears stop.

[15|50] Really sorry to hear...
Name: Spunky #479 @2900
Date: Wed Aug 25 16:52:08 1993
From: Maxie's Toy [209-526-5899]
IN REGARDS TO: I hope this is appropriate....
WRITTEN BY: Kari Ana Smith #8 @2911

Over the past years I had been careless and thought I was pregnant many  times
just to find out I was'nt...Which was fine back then. Then with my last fiance
I did'nt have a period for 3 months and really thought I was. I was hoping and
took a home pregnancy test. If I  was  then  the  dot  on  the  container  was
supposed to turn pink...I don't think I ever stared so hard at something in my
whole life. I kept asking my ex-fiance, "Are you sure  it  is  not  pink"??  I
cried so hard for a long time. But I guess it just was not meant to be. WHen I
was a teen-ager I had a really bad infection and I also thought I had  massive
scar tissue. Even my mom thought so...Well with my new fiance we talked  about
having a baby alot and I did'nt know if we should  try  because  of  financial
reasons...He told me that if we were to wait until we were financially able to
really afford to have baby, then we would be waiting for  many  years.  So  in
Jan. I decided to get off the pill. Then  Feb.  rolled  around  and  I  missed
another period and my body was feeling very different then normal. I talked to
a nurse on the phone and she said that it could be possible that I was  having
a tubal pregnancy and to go to the emergency room ASAP. So I did. They took  a
blood test, urine, and x-rays. They were all negative....I had really  thought
I was pregnant this time that I even told family and friends that I  might  be
and I bought like 15 different pregnancy books.  I  was  really  depressed...I
did'nt have insurance at the time to find out what  was  wrong,  although  the
doctor said that it was a false alarm due to me going off the  pill,  I  still
thought something was wrong internally.. I told my fiance that the  next  time
my body felt different like that then I knew I would be preg-nant. And finally
5 months ago I missed another period and I was feeling kind of sick  again.  I
went to a clinic to have another test done but  was  prepared  for  it  to  be
negative once again...WHen the nurse called me in and said that  it  came  out
positive I screamed at the top of my lungs...I was so surprised.  I  was  sure
that maybe they had accidently swtiched tests with  someone  elses..I  was  so
shocked I don't even remember walking out to my car..At my first  obstitrician
appointment I asked the doctor if I was really pregnant and she  said  I  sure
am..I am now 5 months pregnant, and I feel the baby kicking  everyday,  but  I
still cannot believe it after all this time. I  do  understand  what  you  are
going through. Unfortunatly my step-sister has had 3 miscarriages and it makes
me sad...The doctor cannot  figure  out  the  cause  yet,  and  she  is  still
trying...Maybe one day.

[16|50] inexcusable
Name: mela #12 @8267 
Date: Sun Aug 29 18:43:51 1993
[Regarding] [I hope this is appropriate....]
[Posted By] [Kari Ana Smith #8 @2911]

okay i can buy the doctors telling you that there's often a  miscarriage  with
the first pregnancy because that is true, but after more miscarriages and  the
same thing keeps on happening they had business to open you up or examine  you
some way to find out what the hell was going on in there. what you had  sounds
like some kind of endometriosis (were your periods real painful?) geeze,  what
kind of crumby doctors did  you  have?  they  never  take  women's  complaints
seriously. sometimes even a woman doctor is no good, my friend  was  delivered
by a woman gynecologist who completely bombed it and is slightly brain damaged
as a result. his brother was delivered by a male gynecologist who knew what he
was doing and he is fine.

[17|50] Light...
Name: Sparrow #129 @8403
Date: Thu Aug 26, 1993 14:38:15
From: Fire Chat BBS [804-330-0620]

I  have  seen MANY responses to your posts. Everyone seems to be  hanging  in 
there  with you. I'm sorry I haven't spoke up, but I have a little baby  that 
was due the 22nd. He's yet to come out and in light of what you have told me, 
it's  just very hard for me to face the fact that something like  that  COULD 
happen to my wife and I. It's a horrible thing to have happened to someone so 
close, but I hope you can just hang in there. Please don't let your  sister's 
words get to you. I can tell you, once you carry that little life in you  for 
9  months (or more) and then you FINALLY get to see him/her...well, I'm  told 
that  it makes all the trouble of getting him/her here worth it. Your  sister 
will be in pain for quite some time. This isn't one of those things that just 
blows over after a few months. It will take a long time for the pain to heal. 
My  thoughts  and prayers will go with you, your sister, and her  husband.  I 
hope  they  can keep it all together and not let this break  up  a  wonderful 
marriage. Keep hoping!

[18|50] No, no, no...Light...
Name: Sparrow #129 @8403
Date: Thu Aug 26, 1993 14:38:17
From: Fire Chat BBS [804-330-0620]

L~>I have been told that alot of new mothers misscary their first child.

No.  Trust me, I have looked into this subject. Most new mothers carry  their 
babies for the whole term plus a few days. The first pregnancy IS the hardest 
one  to go through, but if you take care of yourself, you'll have nothing  to 
worry about.
I remember reading something about you doing alot of the house  work  at  your
sister-in-laws, right? Well, that's a wonderful gesture, but the  first  thing
you should do is worry about YOUR baby. If you over-stress yourself, then  you
could lose your baby as well. The most dangerous time in your baby's  life  is
the first 5 months. It's isn't that common  for  pregnant  women  to  miscarry
before their second trimester is over. It's not that bad if you just  do  what
you can, but always keep YOUR baby's health first in your head. Take care.

[20|50] I do all of that on a regular basis anyway...
Name: Light #31 @5415
Date: Thu Aug 26 01:12:54 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: about the baby
BY: mela #12 @8267 

I am a big one for that.  We Indians find ways to keep peace of mind through 
simple things.

[21|50] Yes.
Name: Light #31 @5415
Date: Thu Aug 26 01:15:18 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: delayed grief
BY: mela #12 @8267 

That is as I have always believed.  Thing is, it is so hard to find someone 
who shares the same views.

[22|50] They are better.
Name: Light #31 @5415
Date: Fri Aug 27 03:22:17 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: I hope this is appropriate....
BY: Kari Ana Smith #8 @2911

They  are talking to eachother alot now...though avoiding discussion  of  the 
loss.  My brother is going back to work.  My sister-in-law will be going back 
to  work soon as well.  They are both in group therapy.  They are doing  much am I....though I am getting pains in my stomach.

[23|50] I do not believe...
Name: Light #31 @5415
Date: Fri Aug 27 03:24:18 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: Help?

I do not believe that anyone is beyond help.

[24|50] I see what you mean.
Name: Light #31 @5415
Date: Fri Aug 27 03:29:20 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: Really sorry to hear...
BY: Spunky #479 @2900

I am four months pregnant now.  I am pregnant with twins!  They took pictures  
and all.  They think they are both girls.
     I am glad you finally got pregnant.   Maybe the baby was telling you  to 
wait   until  you  can afford to take care of it.  Can you  and  your  fiance 
  take care of the baby now?

[25|50] Light hit the jackpot!
Name: Queen Mother #33 @15286
Date: Fri Aug 27 11:43:18 1993
From: Alpha Complex [512-478-3332]
Re: Well,
BY: Light #31 @5415

Fabulous!  Fantastic!!  Far out!!!  (oops, slipped back into 60's lingo)
     I am completely THRILLED for you!  TWINS!!  I'm sure you will take ultra 
good   care of yourself as twins often are born early, due to lack  of  space 
within  the  womb..heheh...  I just know that everything is  gonna  work  out 
     Get  a lotta rest...I'm sure you know and have been told how  much  work 
you'll be facing once they're born...oh I'm rambling on...I do that when  I'm 
excited...  ... :)
     Stay  in touch, dear, and let me know how things progress.  Are  we  all  
electronic aunts and uncles???  sorry, I'll stop now... 

[26|50] Wow...
Name: Miles #1 @9670
Date: Fri Aug 27 08:40:19 1993
From: Nowhere [916-836-1548]
Re: Well,
BY: Light #31 @5415

     As the father of twins( 1 boy, 1 girl) congratulations... and some words 
of  advice.   Take  VERY good care of yourself, even more  than  most  single 
pregnancys.   Twins do tend to come early, and if they come too early  things 
can  get  really scarey.  And most important, get lots of  sleep,  since  the 
following 6 months you will hardly get any.  
     Later, they are great.  They keep each other busy, and they always  have 
a play mate.

[28|50] Ummm...
Name: Light #31 @5415
Date: Mon Aug 30 02:25:14 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]

     I do not know how to say this.  This is not the woman you know as Light.  
This  is her husband.  I have been watching her post here for  sometime  now.  
And now I must bring bad news to you.
     Martha  [you  know her as Light] died this morning.  She fell  down  the 
steps of our house.  She broke her neck.  The twins are dead to.  
     I  will be calling here for the next week or so to see that you all  got 
the  message.   Then  I will ask that her account be deleted.   If  you  have 
anything  to  say, please say it.  I am sure it would make her feel  good  to 
know that there are people out there who cared for her.  She would have  been 
     Sorry.   I just lost a wife and two babies in one day.  I  have  nothing 
more to say.

[29|50] God!  I'm so sorry to hear that!
Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Mon Aug 30 05:42:15 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: Ummm...
BY: Light #31 @5415

Light was/is a very good person.  Now she is going to the Light.
I  would like to help.  I have emailed my voice phone number to her  account.  
Please  check her email.  The title of my email is the same as the  title  of 
this post.
I am speechless.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[30|50] The next message is to Light.
Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Mon Aug 30 09:43:55 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: Ummm...
BY: Light #31 @5415

I  feel  kinda  funny saying this private message on a public  sub,  but  her 
husband  requested  that if anyone has anything to say, say  it.   If  anyone 
feels  funny  about reading a private message to someone who has  passed  on, 
please hit the spacebar for the next post.

[31|50] Light....
Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Mon Aug 30 10:08:32 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: Ummm...
BY: Light #31 @5415

My  deepest  condolences  to your family, and best wishes for  you  and  your 
children on this great journey.

Last night I was up very late crafting power objects. One of the things I made
was a journey-necklace. This is a rather bulky affair, with  packets  made  of
corn husks containing things one might need  on  a  journey.  Each  packet  is
detatchable, without dismantling the necklace, to be used as needed.

Then when I went to bed I could not sleep, I felt way hyper even though it was
past 1 am. I had several  visions  of  rather  cryptic  symbols  which  I  now
understand. These were not hyptnogogic images, but visions, as  I  felt  quite

When  I read the news this morning, I wanted to scream.  I am currently on  a 
semi-fast  to  raise energy regarding a matter of community interest,  but  I 
have not eaten anything since I read the news.  I don't know how long I  will 
continue  with  this, but please feel free to apply the energy to  help  your 
passage.   I  wanted to write a letter offering to "go to great  lengths"  to 
help  your family.  I wanted to bury a bunch of power objects in your  honor.  
I  wanted to do all sorts of drastic stuff.  But inwardly I heard a  familiar 
rebuke. "You hippies always overdo things, why is this?"  

I  called  my  teacher, and he suggested that I do a meditation  and  bury  a 
single  gift  in your honor.  I intend to bury a piece  of  lightening  wood, 
since  you  said you want some.  I will not bury all the items  I  wanted  to 
bury, as this would put you in an awkward position -- what would you give  in 
return?   We have discussed this as well, you remember what I said  on  this, 
but  since giving something in return is an important matter for you  I  will 
not put you in an awkward position by burying all I planned to bury.  As  for 
what to give in return for the lightening wood, don't worry about it.  You've 
already given plenty.

Also,  please don't feel bad about the obligations you left behind.   We  all 
have  a time to go; your time came when you were very busy.  But don't  worry 
about  things; life will go on.  I have offered your husband my  voice  phone 
number and am willing to help with these things any way I can.  Please  don't 
feel guilty for leaving at this time when you had many obligations; your time 
came  and  it has nothing to do with anything you or anyone else  did.   Just 
stay  with  wahtever guide you have chosen for this great journey,  and  walk 
toward the light, you and your two little ones.  

When the time comes, as it comes for all who have passed over, for you to face
an evauation of your life, don't be afraid or cop an attitude;  instead,  face
it with courage so that you can move on to the next  stage  of  your  journey.
This is very important; souls which put off facing the evaluation are not very

When I did my meditation for you a little while ago, I saw you walking toward 
a circle of light, leading a toddling child on each hand.  This is good.

I  hope to go to the funeral for you and your children, but this may  not  be 
possible, as it may be a private affair and I don't have transport.  I intend 
to hold the full moon drum jam in my yard as usual, as I feel you would  want 
me to do this. I intend to drum in your honor and apply the energy raised  to 
help  your passage and help your family heal from this great loss to them.  I 
also intend to wear the journey-neckalce for a while in your honor, and  give 
most of it away piece by piece in your honor.  You need not give anything  in 
return; this will be the concern of those I give it to.

Again,  best  wishes  for your journey, and my deepest  condolences  to  your 
family. I may have more to say later, but this is all for now.

[32|50] This is Light's tcher.
Name: Light #31 @5415
Date: Mon Aug 30 15:18:05 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: Light....
BY: Nightshade #303 @5415

I am very old, and it greives me to see her die before me.  It is not  really  
fair to her family. 
     She  knows all you have to say.  She will give something in  return  for 
your  gift.  It may be a happy thought, a feeling of love,  or  comunication.  
Only she knows what she will give. 
     I sought you out Nightshade.But I was to late.  I saw her death in  your 
soul.  I do  know why this happened.  I do not understand how one so far from 
her and not knowing her face could see her death.  
Dancing Wolf

[33|50] How I could see
Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Mon Aug 30 16:08:02 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: This is Light's tcher.
BY: Light #31 @5415

I may not have ever met Light face to  face,  but  we  have  had  some  intimate
conversations on this sub and via email. I am sorry that you saw her death in my
soul, I hate to be a bearer of bad news. One of my teachers has noted my unusual
ability to pick up information just when it is needed,  from  unlikely  sources,
without seeming to go looking for it; I guess  it  was  this  ability  operating
here. But I am very sad that this ability, which  is  often  so  useful  to  the
community, has in this case revealed such a thing as Light's death.
I have been on a semi-fast for a while, raising energy to  address  a  community
problem in this area. (My teacher has advised against my going on a "real"  fast
at this time, because of health reasons and worldly  obligations).  But  now  my
guide is telling me  to  eat  normally.  So  I  guess  LIght  has  crossed  over
successfully and there is nothing more for me to do. (Except bury the lightening
wood, of course.) And as for the community problem, it's on hold. So I  guess  I
better eat something and recover my strength for the next work.

Thanks for taking the time to acknowledge my tribute to  Light  and  address  my
concerns. Perhaps one day you  can  tell  me  (probably  in  private)  why  this
happened. But then maybe it's better that I not know.

[34|50] Perhaps.
Name: Light #31 @5415
Date: Tue Aug 31 01:35:00 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: How I could see
BY: Nightshade #303 @5415

Once again, this  is Light's teacher.  I am staying at her husbands place for 
a little while.  Right now, he is in no mood to talk.  No medicine that I can 
give him will help him.  His sickness is in his mind.  I must tell  you...all 
of  you...that  Light's best friends were on this computer.  No  one  in  her 
nieghborhood  spoke  to  her because of her Indian heritage  and  her  Indian 
beliefes.  They even ridiculed her use of Indian magic.  It was unfair to her 
and made her hatred for white people grow.  Then she called here.  She  began 
to think that white people were not all bad.  She was young.  Her brother and 
sister-in-law  had made the decision to try and have another child the  night 
before  she died.  That made her happy.  I believe she died because  all  she 
had to do here...all of her responcibilities were taken care of.  And so  the 
Great  Spirit called for her.  She now walks in the land of many colors  with 
her two children and her brothers child.  I am sure she is happy now.

[35|50] I had this come to me...
Name: Kari Ana Smith #8 @2911
Date: Wednesday, September 1, 1993  10:32 am
From: The Bulls Locker I [209-883-4335]

After reading of lights passing.  My sincere condolences for Lights family and 
friends and all of us who knew her on this sub....

                         A Light Went Out

                  A light went out the other day
                      The world was saddend
                      The hopes and dreams
                  Stopped for one moment in time
                      Breathless from the loss
                  Tears flow and cleanse the earth
                      The sweetness rises up
                          To the heavens
                   The love is showered down
                     Her spirit is within us

  I know this is but a token of my feelings.  My sincerst sympathies.

[36|50] damn
Name: mela #12 @8267 
Date: Fri Sep 03 09:33:40 1993

goodbye light. i'm sorry.
i am indian too. you did not know that. 
i don't know what else to say. i never do. i love you bye

[37|50] More messages for Light
Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Tue Aug 31 12:16:49 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]

I have posted about Light's passage on a local sub devoted to departed friends
and relatives. I did not mention her name, neither did I  say  anything  on  a
netted sub, (that is, a sub which would be read by others on other boards)  as
this did not seem appropriate. But I posted something  on  "The  Dead  Friends
Sub" on another local board here, asking people to post messages  of  blessing
to Light's and her children's journies and condolences to her family. I hope I
was not out of line doing this. I plan to capture these messages and post them
here, in her honor.
     My guide has told me to eat normally but I don't feel like it just  yet.  
Maybe in a few days, after the full moon.
     Many  people ridicule me as well for my magickal practices and  beliefs, 
and  I  too find most of my friends via this medium.  But I can't  afford  to 
hate all members of any race, as I have ancestors from three continents.  And 
hate  is  a  very dangerous thing, anyway, especially for  a  magick-user  to 
harbor hate.  I am glad that posting here helped LIght to overcome her  hate.  
I am glad, also, that her brother and sister in law decided to try for another 
I did a ritual last night where I  buried  the  lightening  wood  and  planted
something in Light's honor. There were some very very powerful  manifestations
during that ritual. What exactly happened I shouldn't say publicly,  but  they
were very powerful. And earlier, while I was meditating, Light's  spirit  came
to me in the form of a mosquito, asking for food for the journey. She remained
on my arm during the whole meditation, and had her fill without causing me the
discomfort mosquitoes usually cause.
     I  have already begun to give away the things on the  journey  necklace, 
and each person I gave them to, I told them Light's story.  So she is  remembered.
I plan to hold the drum session in my yard thursday night, the last  night  of
the full moon, as usual. Anyone who loves Light is invited to come and drum in
her honor. The drumming may start any time after dusk and end any  time  after
about 1 am. The session is informal; come and go  as  you  please.  If  anyone
reads this and would like to come but can't come physically, come  in  spirit;
lots of people come in spirit. YOu can come in spirit even if you read this on
the net after the fact. If anyone would like directions or  more  information,
hit "A" after reading this letter. It would be good to  have  lots  of  people
honoring Light and her children,  blessing  their  passage,  and  praying  for
healing for her family.
     Well,  I said at the end of my previous message that this is all I  have 
to  say for now but I guess there was more to say.  "You hippies always  seem 
to overdo things -- why is that?"

[38|50] Frankly
Name: Miss Scarlett #1 @3315
Date: Wed Sep 01 21:03:08 1993
From: On My Own [303-745-6594]

I'm  kinda at a loss right now for something to say.  Since some  of  Light's 
family  is reading this, just know that I was surprised and saddened to  hear 
what happened.  I guess this is my way of expressing condolences.  The  woman 
had a great heart, as I saw her concern for her family, her future family and 
her brother's family.  That is a nice quality for a person to have.
     I've noticed a lot of folks on this sub talking about "Indian" religion.  
I  would  like an explanation of those beliefs if someone would care  to  en-
lighten me (I'm curious), especially regarding death, afterlife, etc, as that 
is  where  the references have been.  Rather than tie up the sub  with  that, 
would someone who knows and practices this care to e-mail me?  Thanks.

[39|50] Once again,
Name: Light #31 @5415
Date: Wed Sep 01 04:33:34 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: More messages for Light
BY: Nightshade #303 @5415

     This  is  Light's teacher.  Her husband has seemed to loose  intrest  in 
most things which is normal for a man who has just lost a wife and two  children.   
You do not over do things, Nightshade.  I believe that  Running  Dear 
(Light)  had many positive things about her.  She deserved the best...and  so 
she got it.  Nothing can be over done or underdone.  Just remembering her  is 
enough...but if you wish to do more than that, then it is your wish and it is 
your way of honoring her death.
     I thank you for letting her feed.  You were a brave person for  allowing 
that to happen.  Most people would run if a mosquito were to come to them and 
ask them for food.
     I wish you luck in your drumming session.  At home, I will be beating my 
own  drum on the first night of the full moon.  I will have my own  ceremony.  
I  would come to yours or even invite you to mine, but I am afraid what  will 
be done will be to powerful for you to stand.
     I appologize to all reading this.  I know that most of you are  Catholic 
or  Christian.  I know you do not care about these things.  But this  is  our 
religion.   We worship the same god you do, but we do it in a different  way.  
No people are killed in our ceremonies.  We only use things of te earth, air, 
fire, and water.  No living thing is killed for our perposes.
Dancing Wolf

[41|50] It was no big deal
Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Wed Sep 01 07:23:16 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: Once again,
BY: Light #31 @5415

I  knew that mosquito was Light, and I'm not afraid of insects.  Most  of  my 
power  animals are insects.  Some people think I'm a little crazy when I  let 
mosquitoes bite me, and refuse to kill roaches, and apologise to ants when  I 
step on their mound, and stuff like that, but who cares what people think.
     Dancing Wolf, thanks for the encouragement, and I hope your drum session 
last  night went well.  
     Actually, lots of people on this board and BBS in general are pagan,  so 
they'll probably know and understand what's going on.  It will take a week or 
so for this to get out on the net and another week or so for replies to  come 
back in, but soon people all over the country will be honoring LIght and  her 
children and praying for her family's healing.

[42|50] She will apritiate it.
Name: Light #31 @5415
Date: Wed Sep 01 16:04:34 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: It was no big deal
BY: Nightshade #303 @5415

I am sure.  She has a good soul.  Had and still does that is. 
Dancing Wolf

[43|50] Au revoir, Light...
Name: Jay Dyson #1 @9939 [SubGenius Minister]
Date: 09/01/93 at 17:50:33
From: Dyson's Sphere [ASV/GSA] [909-931-7395]
[Recipient]: No Reply Necessary.

Hello Light,
     Reading  the news of your death was like receiving a straight  punch  to 
the gut -- it took the breath right out of me.
     While  I was but one of your acquaintances here, I trust that  you  will 
find  my wishes for you and yours sincere and heartfelt.  I have lost many  a 
friend and loved one to death...some might say I should be used to it by now, 
but it never gets any easier.
     Wherever  you  may  be, it's my hope that you find  happiness  and  love 
                           "Though you may disappear,
                          You're not forgotten here."
                                - Peter Gabriel
            There is nothing stronger in the world than gentleness.

[44|50] To Light
Name: Capri #231 @8403
Date: Thu Sep 02, 1993 13:28:56
From: Fire Chat BBS [804-330-0620]

Sir, I do not know if you are religious, but I'll share my feelings with you.
Book of 2 Samuel 18:33

Then the king was deeply moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and 
wept.  And as he wept, he said thus:
"O my son Absalom - my son, my son Absalom - if only I had died in your place!
O Absalom my son, my son!"

Adonais Shalom

[45|50] satanic?
Name: Killjoy #73 @8119
Date: Thu Sep 02 08:54:54 1993
From: The Driver's Seat BBS [801-973-0193]
         The only power is that which comes from God.
Satan is the great deceiver.
   God's Pawn.

[46|50] Light...
Name: Ray #74 @8119
Date: Fri Sep 03 02:03:51 1993
From: The Driver's Seat BBS [801-973-0193]
Re: This is Light's tcher.

    I  deal  in fact, but am guided by feeling. Some might  call  this  guide 
spirit,  or the light of Christ, or some other name to try to  understand.  I 
can only hope my guide is wrong now, for if not, someone is very sick. I just 
keep feeling this Death of Light is some kind of hoax.
    Like I said, I hope I'm wrong.

[47|50] A SySop's Duty...PLEASE READ
Name: Chrysalis #1 @5415
Date: Fri Sep 03 08:45:06 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]

     My  friends, I want you all to know some facts that will probably  cause 
you some anger while they give relief from pain.  
     You have been the victims of a sick teenager's fantasy and the object of 
her desperate need for attention by any means.  I am talking about the  LIGHT 
story  which unfolded here over the past few weeks.  It was complete  fantasy 
from beginning to end, a totally untrue and bogus lie.  I don't know how many 
of you had doubts, but I don't want any of you to spend your good energy  and 
your decent concern for people on the "death" of a young woman.

     I feel that it is my duty to inform you of these facts because as  Sysop 
of  the BBS where they were posted, I feel rersponsible for what is put  here 
by  any  user.   This girl has played on your sympathies in  the  past  under 
another  alias.  That time, she was found out by one of her relatives and  he 
came onto the sub to stop her lies.  At the time, I thought he had been a bit 
too  harsh in his methods, but now I see that he was no doubt justified  then 
and  it was the only way to pull her back.  I doubt this girl  knows  reality 
from fantasy and for that we can all grieve, but as for being her dupes or  a 
source of attention we only do her more harm.

     So,  I  am  telling you that there never was a  woman  named 
sister  and  brother-in-law who's baby pregnancy  with 
death  by  falling down stairs, killing herself and the  unborn  twins.   The 
"husband"  who rushed into BBS within hours of that so-called-death,  despite 
the fact that he didn't use a computer or know where to call or where to post 
(a BIT too much even for that story)...he and the old "teacher" Dancing  Wolf 
were  both HER.  She's NOT Native American Indian heritage and that lie  plus 
the  emotional  turmoil the story engendered did a great deal  of  damage  to 
people here on this BBS.  The reaction you read by one of the local users was 
the only sincere, true part of this mess.
     I only hope it didn't cause undue distress to any of you on this sub who 
work so hard to extend empathy and advice to others.

     We  know  now who this girl is in the real world (yes,  even  a  totally 
alias  BBS can't hide people who do mischief) I've been doing this stuff  for 
11  years  so  what I don't know about BBS in New  Orleans,  probably  hasn't 
happened  yet.  We are advising her and her family to get her some  help  (it 
seems she has done a few "death fantasies" other places in the past which got 
only  passing  attention.  This sub was a fertile field for her  sick  little 
imagination).   She  will NEVER have another account on The  Guild  BBS...and 
believe  me,  a person's spelling and posting style is as good as  a  fingerprint, 
so I will know if she tries.

     Again, forgive this intrusion into your good motivation and patience.  MY 
apologies also to the host of the sub.


[48|50] Am I angry?
Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Fri Sep 03 12:17:45 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
Re: A SySop's Duty...PLEASE READ
BY: Chrysalis #1 @5415

No.  I learned a lot, about life and death and myself.

We all learned a lot.  We express our thoughts and feelings openly.  Too many 
times in this society we deal with death by shoving things under a rug.   But 
here  we have counselled each other and paid tribute to her passing and  wept 
together  openly.  That we were decieved as a community is not a good  thing, 
but that we learned from this is a good thing.

I'm  not  sure about Light's Native American heritage or lack  of  it.   Most 
people  in  this country, except recent immigrants, have  some  NA  ancestry, 
however  remote.  She may have some.  But she cannot be a true full-blood  or 
she would have known better than to do this thing.

I  just  talked  to my teacher.  He advised that everyone ignore  her  for  a 
while.  He  said she has a lot to learn, and must learn these things  on  her 
own.  So please, everyone ignore her for a while.

[49|50] I feel foolish
Name: Kari Ana Smith #450 @2900
Date: Sat Sep 04 09:17:51 1993
From: Maxie's Toy [209-526-5899]

I  realize  we are dealing with a sick mind.  I do feel very  foolish.   It's 
hard  for me to trust people.  I AM NOT GOING TO LET THIS INCIDENT TAKE  AWAY 
WHAT  i  HAVE GAINED FROM THIS SUB!!!!!!.  I hope this girl  gets  some  help 
soon.   My  true hope is that none lose faith in our safe  place  because  of 
this.  I haven't.  To have a safe place doesn't mean you won't get burned, to 
me, it means if we do get burned we can get passed it because we hold together. 

[50|50] ya know...
Name: mela #12 @8267 
Date: Tue Sep 07 05:29:54 1993

i didn't want to say anything... but i kind of suspected it?
i'm not even sure why.
i  mean i was willing to believe it (weird things happen, you should  see  my 
family, especially my sisters and it's all true) but something in the back of 
my  head kinda went "waaait a minute..." i tried to explore this feeling  but 
that's all it was, no reason for feeling that way, just did. 

[50|50] i'm thinking about this more...
Name: mela #12 @8267 
Date: Tue Sep 07 06:03:22 1993

"sick, twisted fantasy?"

no, she shouldn't have been doing it on computer bulletin boards,  especially 
a sub where people talk about deep, sensitive, often private stuff.

i agree that she needs a proper outlet for it.

i cannot condemn her out of hand. i know what she is doing. under the  proper 
conditions,  it is an art form. i don't just mean i have *read* about  people 
who do this sort of thing--i used to do it myself.

we  could  go on discussing this sort of thing--walking the  fine  line,  the 
nature  of  reality, how far is too far. i am a surrealist. such  things  are 
part of my universe. and i am a very conservative surrealist, i know some who 
would  say  it was alright for her to be doing exactly what she did  in  this 

brings  us back to the struggle between art and psychiatry, or as  nin  would 
say  between  the  artist and reality. has anyone here  read  breton's  novel 
_nadja_, or the story of nina in anais nin's book _collages_?  

i  kind of admire her. she told a story, and, with the exception of  slightly 
too tv-indian names, she told it well. we believed her, didn't we? and as for 
the  idea that this is "fantasy", how come nightwalker (sorry, i  forgot  his 
name) the gentleman who was crafting the power objects and felt all  strange, 
how  come he felt those things? i mean the night before he read the  message? 
what was that all about?

[21|50] My worst nightmare.
Name: Miles #1 @9670
Date: Sat Sep 04 07:57:18 1993
From: Nowhere [916-836-1548]
RE: Ummm...
BY: Light #31 @5415

/Sorry.  I just lost a wife and two babies in one day.  I have nothing more to 
     Only one piece of advice.  Survive.  Beyond that, there is not much more
you can do.  Good luck.

[22|50] There are many different paths here.
Name: Miles #1 @9670
Date: Sat Sep 04 08:11:36 1993
From: Nowhere [916-836-1548]
RE: Once again,
BY: Light #31 @5415

/I appologize to all reading this.  I know that most of you are Catholic or 
/Christian.  I know you do not care about these things.  But this is our 
/religion.  We worship the same god you do, but we do it in a different way.  
/No people are killed in our ceremonies.  We only use things of te earth, air, 
/fire, and water.  No living thing is killed for our perposes.

     I  am personally agnostic.  There are many here who are  athiest,  there 
are probably Wiccans here too.  I personally beleive the Indian ways are  far 
better than the ways of the White man (yes, I am one) which does cause me  to 
want  to know more about the beliefs, though these ways probably never  would 
be my ways.  I have trouble reconciling an "All powerful/all knowing god" who 
would permit these things to happen.  Being mere guests of Mother Earth makes 
more sense.
     As father of twins, this hits a little close to home.  There is no
living "happily ever after".  

     This truly is the land of Peace, Love, Tranquility, and NO MERCY.

[23|50] Farewell to Light.
Name: Miles #1 @9670
Date: Sat Sep 04 21:22:59 1993
From: Nowhere [916-836-1548]

     The world is now a darker place.  May you find your peace.  
"And we who must remain go on crying just the same".
"With negligent regret, the world sped on"

[24|50] Why do you hope you're wrong?
Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Sat Sep 04 16:55:35 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
RE: Light...
BY: Ray #74 @8119

WHen  this thing started developing, a few local users and the sysop told  me 
to  calm  down, eat something, this is probably bogus.  And I  said,  I  hope 
you're wrong.  Then I caught myself.  Which would I rather, that someone lied 
or someone died?

I believed LIght.  I believed her because this is a "real" sub, where we  are 
supposed to discuss real-life problems.  This is not a place for D&D or other 
types of fantasy.
     Even  more,  I believed her because of her Native  American  connection.  
Native  Americans are not supposed to lie in community, and in  some  tribes, 
the penalty for doing so is severe.  So when certain elements appeared  which 
should  have  let me know that this thing wasn't real, I chalked them  up  to 
coincidence.  At the time, I would have rather believe that someone died than 
that  someone lied; at least with the former she keeps her honor.   And  then 
there was the matter of my visions....
      But in the end, I can get over being duped, and I gained something from 
it. We all did. And I'd really rather consider that I was duped, than consider 
that a young woman, pregnant with twins, died by a freak accident. Wouldn't 

Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Sat Sep 04 17:01:21 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
RE: Why do you hope you're wrong?
BY: Nightshade #303 @5415

I  don't  remember ever seeing a post of the rules of this sub, not  sure  if 
there are any.  Are there?

But  it  seems to me that the rules should include no discussion  of  fantasy 
problems  unless  they  are clearly labelled as such.  If the  rules  do  not 
contain  this provision, please consider amending them  appropriately.  Also, 
please let me suggest that the rules of this sub be posted periodically  from 
your  end, and that all sysops carrying this sub make them a  permanent  message. 

[26|50] I'm very sorry to hear this.
Name: Eli Bolin #1 @9949
Date: Thursday, September 2, 1993 at 10:13 am
From: The Wireless Cafe [ASV/GSA] [909-621-2007]
[Regarding]: Ummm...
[Penned By]: Light #31 @5415
[MsgStatus]: No Reply Necessary.

     I  had a lot of respect for Light, and my thoughts/prayers go with  her.  
My deepest condolences.
     I tcan't think of anything to say....

[27|50] Dancing Wolf....... under Light's account:
Name: Lovecat #2 @9939 [Sensual Seraph]
Date: 09/04/93 at 18:54:06
From: Dyson's Sphere [ASV/GSA] [909-931-7395]
[Regarding]: Once again,
[From User]: Light #31 @5415
[Recipient]: No Reply Necessary.

   While  I am greatly saddened to hear of Light's passing through,  on...  I 
also know, as you do, that she has gone to the place to which she was called.  
Her  time here  was finished, her job done and she lives on; herself  in  her 
spirit,  and on earth through those who loved her, whose lives  she  touched.  
It is we who are left behind who hurt, who grieve and who must pass over this 
time and continue with our lives to honor the one gone. 
   I  think you, Dancing Wolf, do many of us here a disservice  by  believing 
that we do not care, or want to here about - your spirituality.  Maybe now is 
a  time for you to look inside and find some tolerence for those you feel  do 
not understand you, those who shun you...?  Acceptance of those people is the 
hardest  and also a very rewarding part of - spirituality.
   I  am what you would call a Christian, though I simply consider  myself  a 
believer.  I was raised in the Episcopal church, but I no longer attend;  the 
structure  and  teachings I am thankful for, we always were taught  love  and 
acceptance of ALL that is.... whether we understand it or not.
   I believe that we all worship the same God, by whatever names and ways and 
prayers  and dances and symbols, etc... that we need.  All is  valid  because 
all was created by the same One...

[28|50] I guess you were right......
Name: Miss Scarlett #1 @3315
Date: Sun Sep 05 07:35:30 1993
From: On My Own [303-745-6594]
RE: Light...
BY: Ray #74 @8119

Frankly I wasn't sure what to think.  

It was as if I was talking to a real person who was really going through this.

The  fantasies were very real.  However, it took me a while to get  into  the 
story.   Then I did start to believe it.  The "death" was rather strange  and 
sudden, but feasible.

At first, I kept saying "this sounds a lot like so-and-so" (don't want to  use
the name in case that's not appropriate), but then it sounded  more  and  more
real. When Chrysalis said she'd been on the bbs before under a different  name
that's the first name that came to my head.

I guess if the girl ever gets the help she needs, she'd make a great writer 

[29|50] Nightshade
Name: Miss Scarlett #1 @3315
Date: Sun Sep 05 07:37:54 1993
From: On My Own [303-745-6594]
RE: Am I angry?
BY: Nightshade #303 @5415

I'd still like an answer to the question I asked (in e-mail of course)  about 
some  of the things you discussed relating to death and Native  American  beliefs.  
I'm still curious.

[30|50] This is not condemning or defense
Name: Miss Scarlett #1 @3315
Date: Sun Sep 05 07:47:30 1993
From: On My Own [303-745-6594]

but  a thought came to me just now.  Light may have actually  done  something 
good, despite the extenuating circumstances.
How  many  people go through this sub, just reading, afraid  to  post  what's 
going on with them?
Some  of the suggestions of sources of help offered with regard to the  story 
may actually be read and heeded by someone actually going through the  situation.  
I'm not saying what she did was ok, but out of the whole mess may have 
come some good.

Just think about it.

[31|50] I think we need to look beyond her actions.
Name: Kari Ana Smith #8 @2911
Date: Monday, September 6, 1993   1:21 pm
From: The Bulls Locker I [209-883-4335]

I have been struggling with depression and  panic  stress  disorder  for  many
years. One of  the  obstcles  I  have  had  to  face  is  many  mental  health
professionals labeling me Borderline Personality Disorder. Many of the symtoms
I had were written off as attention getting devices. I thank God that  I  have
found a Doctor who was able to see that I have Panic Stress Disorder and  that
it is treatable with the proper  medication  and  psycho-therapy.  During  the
years before my rediagnosis I was subjected to so much pain because the people
around me were cynical  and  disbelieving.  I  was  constantly  belittled  and
regarded as hopeless. Yes, I know, most Borderlines are considered hopeless. I
have a lot of empathy for the one known as Light. This girl is in immense pain
and I can't really blame her for what she did. All she really  wanted  was  to
feel loved. She was feeling this way here, before she was  blown  out  of  the
water by her sister's boyfriend. I can understand why she came back with a new
identity and a new story to tell. Despite the anger some  may  be  feeling,  I
believe we need to, as a whole, invite her back with her original  handle  and
face up to her deception. If she is given the chance to be forgiven by us  and
still be welcome here, she may finally feel worthy of getting better. Lest any
of us forget, this girl is very ill and will be very ill her  entire  life  if
someone doesn't accept her as she is. A person with this disorder has to fight
this illness her entire life. Can't we forgive this girl and perhaps give  her
a helping hand. She needs us to help her. I for one forgive her. I will gladly
accept her back if she agrees to return with her original handle and agrees to
make amends to us all.

Whatever, I forgive her and hope she will feel free to E-mail me. This sub  is
to help others after all.

[32|50] Questions to Angelic Host
Name: Ehall #76 @7201
Date: Sat Sep 04 05:48:18 1993
From: Sisters, Family and Friends [702-891-8532]

I  have been reading some of your mesages through the Sisters,  Friends,  and 
Family  BBS here in Las Vegas, and am inderested in some of the  files  which 
were  listed in one of them.  I am especialy inderested in the ones  relating 
to  MPD.  I am the spouse of a multible and need to get all  the  information 
that  I  can  to be able to help and support her when se needs  it  with  out 
smothering her at other times.  Is there a way for me to don load these files 
through the net or will I have to call your BBS directly in order to do so.  

I  also  have several specific questions I am looking for  answer  with.   My 
wifes therapist has informed me that she has no time to talk with me and help 
me understand things.  Is there some one who might be willing to chat with me 
and answer some of my questions?

If you can please sent me a note, I am EHall at Sisters, Friends, and  Family 
in Las Vegas, NV.

[33|50] .....
Name: Sparrow #129 @8403
Date: Sat Sep 04, 1993 11:16:13
From: Fire Chat BBS [804-330-0620]

I will probably get fried for what I'm about to say... 

Has anyone thought about how  CONVENIENT  (sp?)  all  this  is?  Take  a  look
around... Anyone notice something....umm....STRANGE???? First  light  gets  on
here and makes a wonderful announcment about her sister's baby. Then, in a few
days, she gets one here and delivers tragic new. That part isn't quite  a  far
fetched as the rest, What's the next thing you see? She starts  talking  about
how her sister's husband is looking for a divorce. Then we hear that mere days
before the birth of the child, her father died. I haven't read my packet  from
a few days ago yet (I'm online now,  not  offline  like  usual),  but  I'd  be
willing to bet it has some MORE tragic news from Light. Next thing  I  see  is
someone using Light's account to tell  us  that  she  has  died.  In  seperate
letters it doesn't seem like much, but throw it all together and you  come  up
with one VERY big tale of sorrow and death. Another thing, has anyone  noticed
how similar the handwriting styles are?  I  see  no  BIG  differences  in  the
husband's writing compared to the so-called doctor's  writing  style.  I  thik
we've been led astray here. My opinion  is  that  NONE  of  this  really  ever
happened. It's all in the mind of one VERY sick (but still alive) girl. IF any
of this stuff I have  read  is  true,  then  you  ALL  have  my  very  deepest
appologies. That comes right from the heart. I'm not trying to start  a  bunch
of crap here. That has NEVER been my intensions. All I'm trying to do is raise
a few questions. I want everyone to at least THINK about what I have  said.  I
don't think Light is dead. I think she sits down to the computer  every  night
and writes this stuff out. I don't know to many doctors that are that  worried
about how many friends someone had, or how someone hated the  "white  man".  I
just think it's a little far out into left field. Everything I read  just  has
this air of...umm....false reality. It's all VERY believable  in  most  cases,
but I think, dear miss Light, that you laid it on a little TOO thick. What I'm
trying to do is make sure this stays the safe place it always has been.  We've
been violated SOOoo many times that it's a little hard to swallow this MONSTER
horse pill of information. Maybe I'm wrong. If so, then I'm  sorry.  If  Light
has truly passed on, then a mistake was made upstairs.  It  wasn't  her  time.
However, I don't think I'm wrong. One of  the  first  mistakes  made  was  the
invention of twins. My wife has been pregnant for 42 weeks (she was over due),
and I've done EXTENSIVE research on pregnancy and all the things connected  to
it. Like Ultrasounds, tests done by doctors, etc... The modern  medicines  and
tests we have would have been able to detect  twins  very  quickly.  Sometimes
they missfire, but only in  about  10%  of  the  cases.  When  you  first  get
pregnant, the doctors schedual for an Ultrasound. That test  alone  should  be
able to tell you if it's twins or not. I just think it's all a little strange.
     I  do have some happy news. I'm not all full of doubt  today.  Yesterday 
(9-3-93),  my  wife finally had her baby. A healthy baby boy. 7  lbs.  2  oz.  
That's  right,  I'm a daddy. As you can see, I'm a new father  that  is  just 
running over with happiness. I want to scream at the top of my lungs about my 
new  son. I'm really not bringing up this stuff with Light to be mean, or  to 
try  and make her posts invalid, or to even soil her good name. I just  don't 
want anyone here to get hurt. I don't want to see nice people like Nightshade 
and Kari Ana Smith, and Scarlet, and all the other wonderful people here  get 
sucked  into something that could cause some real mental scars. I don't  want 
to  see  it all fall down around our ears. I'm sorry I had to ask  all  these 
questions,  but I want you to go back and read them one more time. Only  this 
time  think about how unbelievable all this is. If it's still  believable  to 
you after that, then think nothing more of it. Just give it a chance.  

[34|50] Dang, how to say this
Name: Capri #231 @8403
Date: Sun Sep 05, 1993 07:30:57
From: Fire Chat BBS [804-330-0620]

You know, I just got off the phone, not 24 hours ago with a VERY sick  person 
that somehow got into my life, and now this.
I  know Light will probably never see this, but I just want her, and  all  of 
you to know, that I think she's a monster.  How DARE she DO this to us?  Have 
YOU no MORALS for what you do?  For hurting people EMOTIONALLY!!!!
     What  makes matters worse, she HAD TO have enjoyed it all.   Pardon  me, 
Light, but you truly SUCK!  As far as I'm concerned, I hope God is holding  a 
special place for you, cauz you have certainly done me a lot of harm, dog.

[35|50] I guess the questions are:
Name: Daddy \/\/abbit* #55 @8403
Date: Sun Sep 05, 1993 12:58:56
From: Fire Chat BBS [804-330-0620]
Re: A SySop's Duty...PLEASE READ
A.)  Isn't it true that Light and Enigma are one and the same person?
B.)  Why did YOU allow this to continue on for so long without putting a stop
     to it?  Don't you ever read the posts on your BBS?

[36|50] Speaking of which
Name: Capri #231 @8403
Date: Sun Sep 05, 1993 13:36:15
From: Fire Chat BBS [804-330-0620]

Say, you know, that DOES make sense.  I don't know if you've figured this out 
yet,  but  this  has really brought out a bad side in me.   It  just  utterly 
annoys  the living &$&@^!!! (Dang, line noise) out of me for someone to  play 
games.  It's a good thing, wait, lemme see?
[You have been the victims of a sick teenager's fantasy
     Yeah, you DID say child, THAT makes it barely understandable.  The  SICK 
part, I don't feel that is a very apt description for that dog's attrociously 
vicious  behavior.  Who DID SHE THINK SHE WAS?  And, perhaps next time,  thou 
wilt  keep  a  tighter leash on your Domain, System Operator?   I  am  still, 
however, appreciative of the fact that you DID do something about it.   THAT, 
to say the least, was very kind of you.

[37|50] I KNEW IT!!!
Name: Sparrow #129 @8403
Date: Sun Sep 05, 1993 17:40:15
From: Fire Chat BBS [804-330-0620]
Re: A SySop's Duty...PLEASE READ

Enigma.  The  one word that just kept repeating itself over and  over  in  my 
head.  Now the truth of the matter has been exposed. The pain of yet  another 
violation into this sub has been exposed. When will it ever end? Will  people 
ever  be able to show compasion again on here? These and many more  questions 
are  comming soon. I hope you all can take this in stride. I now go  to  weep 
for the loss of a poor, sick little girl. Enigma....

[38|50] Will y'all cut it out!
Name: Capri #231 @8403
Date: Mon Sep 06, 1993 15:18:02
From: Fire Chat BBS [804-330-0620]

Look at this:

[98/100       [32] Networked  Psychiatrist's Couch
[Title:       My worst nightmare.
[Date:        Sat Sep 04 07:57:18 1993 (3 days old)
[Origin:      Nowhere (California) [916-836-1548]
[From:        Miles #1 @9670 WWIVnet     

Well,  nevermind, it's dated.  But, hey, just to say it again:  Light  was  a 
CROCK!  Please, let it dies, this is insane, maybe we can erase some msgs?  I 
guess not, this is netted...Oh well...

This  board isn't just a chat thing, people, emotions are involved here,  far 
as I'm concerned, and I sure hope if someone else is thinking about pulling a 
'Light'  stunt  (no  pun), think again, and take it somewhere  else,  like  a 
mental hospital, ok?

[39|50] yeah right.
Name: Killjoy #73 @8119
Date: Mon Sep 06 15:12:38 1993
From: The Driver's Seat BBS [801-973-0193]
RE: Farewell to Light.
BY: Miles #1 @9670

        Guess what people....I died today.I'll call the board tomorrow and be 
a  cousin of mine,then everybody in my family will die and I will  come  back 
from the dead and post of my wonderfull resurection.
   Beat  this drum baby, Native american religion does not worship  one  god, 
they worship many..I personally think your feeding us a bunch of shit.

[41|50] duped
Name: Ray #74 @8119
Date: Tue Sep 07 02:49:24 1993
From: The Driver's Seat BBS [801-973-0193]
RE: Why do you hope you're wrong?
BY: Nightshade #303 @5415

    I find I must a point. What I meant by I hope I was wrong was 
that  I really hoped that someone out there was not so sick so as to  pull  a 
trick  like this one. I saw a lot of real pain and true sympathy in the  post 
and  didn't  want to think that some might have their ablitiy  to  trust  impaired.
    I did get a private e-mail to that effect from a California user.

[44|50] After I have tried to be so cool about this situation It....
Name: Lady French #140 @2911
Date: Wednesday, September 8, 1993  11:43 am
From: The Bulls Locker I [209-883-4335]

occured  to  me that, Enigma have been Terminator to make her  former  plight 
seem  more believable.  Remember how we all blasted Terminator  for  invading 
our  safe space.  This would have given her self conscious permission to  run 
away.   As much as I love my compurter, I certainly wouldn't be  dragging  it 
around from one place to another.  as rude as this may sound.  Is it possible 
that  this  person is safe in her family home with  two  normal (as  possible)
parents,  her  own computer and her own car????   I was wondering  all  this.  
what do you all think.  Could it have all been just one giant hoax.  Is  this 
the  extreme version of the prank telephone calls of a child????   Could  the 
entire Enigma story be a complete role playing fantasy?????    HMMMMMMMMMM. 

[45|50] Re: I guess the questions are:
Name: The Coach #1 @2911
Date: Wednesday, September 8, 1993   5:30 pm
From: The Bulls Locker I [209-883-4335]
RE: I guess the questions are:
BY: Daddy \/\/abbit* #55 @8403

/A.)  Isn't it true that Light and Enigma are one and the same person?
/B.)  Why did YOU allow this to continue on for so long without putting a stop
/     to it?  Don't you ever read the posts on your BBS?

     Well, I just happened to see your question, checked out the sub, and see 
what is going on. This is the first time I have really checked out this  sub. 
And may I be so bold as to think I can speak for most sysops. 

We try. 

I have over 600 messages coming in a day, I have files, and net connects, and 
user  e-mail, logs to read, and things that have to be done to keep  the  BBS 
running, and I have a job and a family and need my sleep. I spot check the 98 
subs  that I carry, I fully read the subs that I host, that are mod subs,  or 
are  sysop  subs for the latest news, but I never have time to read  all  the 
subs.  I can not police 200+ users to make sure they are behaving. I  do  not 
have  time  to read every post that goes out from my system. I  count  on  my 
users that are adult to help me keep things running smooth. Even a small  BBS 
like mine requires a lot of time and we just do the best we can. I used to be 
well  known in this area for the size and number of post. Now I almost  never 
have time to post, I spend all my time answering e-mail. I have done 43  post 
and  934 e-mail. How many post do you see from sysops? I mean real post,  not 
the little one or two line "Clean it up or lose access" post. I used to  give 
several  warning,  lead them by the hand, show how to use a BBS, now  I  give 
them  one chance, then they get screwed by uedit. I just don't have the  time 
to  be a nice guy. We run these boards because we enjoy it, but I  know  many 
sysops who have taken on more then they should have, it turned into work, and 
they  said  screw  it and closed shop. This is my hobby, not my  job,  if  it 
starts causeing me grief then it will be gone. Well, it is 5:24 and I need to 
run, as always. 

PS. I do not read this sub much, so if you say anything to me please do so in 
e-mail and you can post it here, you can then follow it up with my e-mail  to 
you posted with my full permission. 
Later, BR.

[46|50] Forgiveness for "Light"
Name: Queen Mother #33 @15286
Date: Wed Sep 08 18:52:53 1993
From: Alpha Complex [512-478-3332]
Msg Status - No Reply Necessary

I  agree  that Light should be forgiven IF she will begin posting  under  her 
"real"  handle (whatever that is) and drop the fantasy stories.  Perhaps  she 
could have a probation period of full acceptance...

[48|50] Light/Enigma/This sub
Name: Chrysalis #1 @5415
Date: Wed Sep 08 00:49:14 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]

     I've carried this sub for as many years as I've had The Guild on an IBM.  
This is the longest, continuously online BBS in the  New  Orleans  
Area...first  on Apple, then on IBM/WWIV. I monitor all the subs I carry, but 
many of  the  net subs are here because of user request and there isn't time 
to read them  daily if they don't fill a personal need of mine. I scan here 
every few  days....and that's the reason I caught the Light thing.
     Believe  me, if you had been paying attention and not so secure  in  the 
safety of a nationally netted sub, any of you would have spotted the pitifully  
concocted  (and badly written) soap opera that was  unfolding.   I  never 
believed it when Enigma was posting how you all believed the ludicrous claims 
she  made  daily...and the maudlin attention with which many of you  fed  her 
need for attention.  Still, I saw it doing no harm at the time.  When  
Terminator came in and exposed her foolishness and told you how it was hurting 
her sister,  I  briefly thought about putting a stop to his posts,  but  
realized that a dose of rreality would serve her well and be good for the rest 
of  you who had swallowed her bull for so long.  There's a lot of fantasy in 
BBS  and it's  not a sysop's job to protect the world from it.  My rules  and  
ethics include NO personal exposure of someone's real information (unless they 
do it themselves  or  provide bogus info)...NO exposure of a double  alias  
who  is playing....but  most of all, not allowing people to deliberately hurt  
others with words.
     I  caught Light's story close to the mid-point and began  following  it.  
To  tell  the truth, I knew it was Enigma by the spelling and poor  style  of 
posting and I laughed, not believing that you wouldn't all see it or call her 
on  it....but  all she got was more attention.  I nearly fell off  the  chair 
laughing  when "The Husband" posted his "Death announcement".  I'd been  
wondering how she was planning to get herself out of this sticky situation.
     Then, I found out that Nightshade was in deep pain, believing it was all 
true.   I helped her to see it was not, and the person behind it was  someone 
she  knew and had helped in the real world.  That's when I realized that  you 
were all really so secure in one another's long term company on this sub that 
you  WOULD  perhaps  believe this lie and be  hurt.   I  immediately  removed 
Light's access.  I posted the explanation immediately...and it's taken over a 
week for some of you to have seen it...that's Network traffic for you.
     Would  you  believe  that the little bitch logged on  as  her  "teacher" 
Dancing Wolf and asked for an account so that people could write "him"  their 
reactions  and he could read and post on the Psych sub.  THAT WAS  MORE  THAN 
ENOUGH! I sent blistering mail to ole "Dancing Wolf"....addressing her by her 
REAL  name  which I never do with alias users...after which  I  deleted  that 
account also.
     This  girl will never have another account on The Guild.  I  don't  know 
whether any other BBS in her calling area carries this board (don't think so) 
but I'll be watching for her here and so should you all.  This child has used 
every  BBS  she  can in the area with different aliases to  play  her  little 
"death games" claiming that various members of her family had died and  once, 
threatening  imminent suicide on a multi-node chat BBS...realtime  talk  with 
several people.
     I  don't have to tell you that BBS alias users are too cynical  to  fall 
for  this repeated bullshit.  She never got the satisfactory  attention  
anywhere  until she found this sub.  You've all gone through  some  
tribulations that make you good, empathetic people, but you can't forget that 
occasionally an unreachable, chaotic person creeps into your alias world.
     I'm female...I've lost loved ones, and I'm old enough to have accumulated 
much life experience.  It's made me tough, but not hard.  Still...I run my 
BBS  with  an iron hand and am known as one of  the  toughest/fairest  Sysops 
around. I can't protect you.  If I miss something here that you doubt,  write 
me  and I will look into it.  This is the first problem I've ever hosted  for 
you  in  4 years.  I do somewhat resent the accusation of "How can  I  let  a 
thing like this happen?"  Well, my friends and fellow travellers through this 
fog  we  call  life...I didn't let it happen...YOU did.    As  with  anything 
else...we learn from it.

[49|50] Forgive her.
Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Wed Sep 08 08:02:36 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
RE: Dang, how to say this
BY: Capri #231 @8403

Light has done a very bad thing.  She has betrayed this place of trust.   Her 
believable writing style and her references to her NA hertiage have added  to 
her credibility.  So what to do now?
     She  has  been  shunned and exiled,  classic  punishments  for  offenses 
against  the community.  Some say, forgive her and let her back  in  provided 
she  apologises  and uses her original alias and sticks to the truth  in  the 
future. Others are willing to curse her soul.
     SHunning and exile need not last forever; sometimes they last for a  set 
period of time, or until the offender performs certain tasks indicating  that 
they  are  willing to make amends.  The sysop here says that she  won't  come 
back via this board, but she may be back via another board.
     So  what do we do?  We are here to support each other.   Cursing  anyone 
or  anything is a very bad thing to do.  When one person turns  cynical,  the 
world  is a little less sweet. We have a right to be angry, but let's not  be 
angry  in  such a way that it is destructive to us.  So if  you  can't  bring 
yourself to forgive her just yet, just leave her alone for a while.

[26|50] wrong again killjoy
Name: mela #12 @8267 
Date: Fri Sep 10 05:29:52 1993
[Regarding] [yeah right.]
[Posted By] [Killjoy #73 @8119]

     because  there are many (hundreds, maybe thousands) of different  indian 
tribes  with different ideas, names for things, etc., you cannot say  "native 
americans  do this and don't do that". for the plains indians, for  instance, 
you  hear them talking about all of the nature spirits and that,  but  behind 
those there was always "wakan tanka", the great mystery, that got  translated 
as "the great spirit" by early folklorists trying to understand.  yes,  there 
are indians, lots of them, who would indeed claim to worship one god.  again, 
except  for slightly too tv-indian names, light's descriptions  were  exactly 
like  those found in some of the literature. and by the way, one of the  
reasons *I* didn't catch on is that there is an organisation called pan-
american indian  association  that  *does* use very tv-indian  names,  partly  
because they've adopted a lot of people who are either only part indian, 
suspect they are  indian,  or are simply sympathetic to indian beliefs and 
want  to  learn more about it. the way "dancing wolf" wrote sounded so much 
like the editorials i have seen in their newsletter that i really was prepared 
to believe  it was something like that. 

[50|50] hey capri...
Name: mela #12 @8267 
Date: Fri Sep 10 05:42:13 1993
[Regarding] [Dang, how to say this]
[Posted By] [Capri #231 @8403]

     i  understand  what you said, but bear in mind stuff's gonna  happen  in 
life. it's hard for anyone, especially since a lot of the people in here were 
abused  including myself, you keep feeling like you want to have  some  place 
where  you have 100% control over events, well, that just cannot  happen  all 
the time. i think the whole thing was kind of a surrealist moment, but that's 
just  my  personal way of "dealing with it" or even rationalising in  a  way, 
strange for a surrealist to say but sometimes that's how it is. 
     to be honest i didn't feel cheated or angry in any way. i was just  glad 
that it was a story and not real life, because some stuff has happened in  my 
family that is exactly like what light wrote about, and i was ready to accept 
it all at face value.
     and there are times when unfortunate events all do seem to take place at 
once  or  within a few weeks. i had this happen in january of  1992,  without 
going into details, so i know it can be so.
     so one of the things we have to figure out how to do is how to deal with 
when  stuff  happens that offends or upsets some of us even in  places  we've 
tried to make "safe" and that like this sub. 
     because  chrysalis obviously has her hands full and she can't ride  herd 
on this sub all the time. shoot, it took this long to find out she was 
moderator, i thought hey jood! was moderator.

[5|5]: yeah.... what was that all about?
Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Sun Sep 12 10:37:33 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]

RE: i'm thinking about this more...
BY: mela #12 @8267 

>i kind of admire her. she told a story, and, with the exception of slightly 
>too tv-indian names, she told it well. we believed her, didn't we? and as for 
>the idea that this is "fantasy", how come nightwalker (sorry, i forgot his 
>name) the gentleman who was crafting the power objects and felt all strange, 
>how come he felt those things? i mean the night before he read the message? 
>what was that all about?

     Yeah, that really had me wondering, too.  This was one of the reasons  I 
believed  her,  despite all the fishy elements.  Why had I been  inspired  to 
make those power objects the night before I read the message?  Why had I  had 
all  those  visions and feelings?  Why was I inspired to fast and  give  away 
valuable  items  and do all the other things that we  traditionally  do  when 
someone dies?
     There  were some really amazing manifestations that third night, when  I 
buried the gift in her honor while my friend, in another part of town, did  a 
divination.   I can tell you in email if you're interested; I'd like to share 
this experience with someone who understands, as you do.  So if you'd like to 
hear of these manifestations, just autoreply.
     I  understand  now where all these manifestations came from.   WE  as  a 
virtual  lodge  were taken on a journey thru the underworld  by  a  trickster 
guide.  This guide, a spirit, provided me with the inspirations, visions, and 
feelings.   Any communal journey requires a storyteller; Light provided  this 
role well.  It also requires someone to keep a spiritual focus for the group; 
for  this  I was elected.  It also requires a group to make the  journey;  we 
were  all part of this group.  It requires a sacred space; this sub  provided 
that.  There are other elements as well required for a communal journey;  the 
spririt  guide who was with us at the time provided all of these things,  and 
the experience was very powerful.
     The  Trickster,  as you know, is a very high teacher, but  only  if  one 
stays with him and pays attention to the end.  At some point on the  journey, 
when  one begins to realise that one is being tricked, the temptation  is  to 
banish  or  desert the guide, but one should refrain from doing so;  one  who 
banishes or deserts the Trickster guide cheats themself of the lesson(s)  and 
is  left with only a bad feeling of having been duped.  This is why  I  
maintained my mourning state even when the fishy elements began to appear.
     I am glad that you understand these things.  It really bothers me to see 
people cursing Light now, instead of thanking her for the lessons she provided 
and praying for the healing of the real-life anguished young woman who  is 
capable  of such things.  She has a lot of talent, and when she gets her  own 
darkside under control she will do great things for the community.

Peace,  Nightshade

[28|50] Excuse me,
Name: The Traveler #1 @8267 (Religion?)
Date: Sat Sep 11 23:19:54 1993
[Regarding] [I guess the questions are:]
[Posted By] [Daddy \/\/abbit* #55 @8403]

but  for  a sysop, we don't always have time to watch what is going  on.  The 
fact  that  we  occasionally catch these things on our own is  a  miracle  in 
     I  have  over  100 subs here, and host about 10. I  have  school,  other 
activities,  and then a life before the computer and BBS even cross my  mind. 
Even  when  the  BBS gets its share of time, I don't have time  to  read  the 
messages  on there, as my mailbox is always full and I have to scan files  to 
make sure someone didn't upload a porno flick in the transfer section.
     Granted,  this  probably shouldn't have gone on this far, but  the  fact 
that  she is getting help is good. The whole point is that this sub did  what 
it was supposed to do. It caught someone who was expressing that they  needed 
mental  help, and in the end, it was recieved. Are you to blame the host  for 
the fact that it succeeded in what it was supposed to do?
     One  thing  I  would really not like to see this  sub  flooded  with  is 
"Deepest  regrets" "How DARE you"'s aimed at Light/Enigma. We're supposed  to 
be listening to people (REAL people with REAL problems) here, not complaining 
how  many  of you all came under the influence of something that  was  little 
more than a BBS Soap Opera.

[29|50] RE: Forgiveness for "Light"
Name: Jaxom #6 @2900
Date: Thu Sep 09 07:24:29 1993
From: Maxie's Toy [209-526-5899]
IN REGARDS TO: Forgiveness for "Light"
WRITTEN BY: Queen Mother #33 @15286

>I agree that Light should be forgiven IF she will begin posting under her
>"real" handle (whatever that is) and drop the fantasy stories. Perhaps she
>could have a probation period of full acceptance...

I strongly disagree.  This individual needs to learn the meaning of the  word 
"consequences".  The consequences for abusing the trust of the people on this 
sub is a TOTAL loss of access to it.

[30|50] The message HAS been received.
Name: Miles #1 @9670
Date: Thu Sep 09 19:55:32 1993
From: Nowhere [916-836-1548]
RE: Will y'all cut it out!
BY: Capri #231 @8403

     You  are right.  It was dated.  I was sucked in as well as many  others.  
Color me STEWPID.  But I would prefer to find out it was a stunt, rather than 
have it be real.  I'll survive my gullibility.  
     And if it was Enigma, I can just about understand who some of the others 
around might have given her the push off the edge which may have CAUSED  this 
stunt.   Does that make it okay?  Not hardly.  Neither does it make  it  okay 
what else has gone on here.  
     "Light"  does  need  help.  And can no longer  find  it  here.   Burning 
Bridges is not a promising career.

[34|50] Why do you hope you're wrong?
Name: Capri #231 @8403
Date: Tue Sep 07, 1993 13:54:12
From: Fire Chat BBS [804-330-0620]
Re: Why do you hope you're wrong?

"[lied; at least with the former she keeps her honor.  And then there
[was the matter of my visions...."

What about your visions? Please, explain, if those visions were real to  you, 
what  significance they had.  Would you say it is accurate for me  to  assume 
that those visions were, either pertaining to another person, and you made  a 
mistake,  or, the other and less desirable choice, that the vision was  
altogether false, or just plain nothing? I don't want to offend you, but I  
feel offended,  like someone has pulled my leg, which they have, and  someone  
may still be, which I'm hoping to find out.

[36|50] Well, the whole affair has a positive side...
Name: -=<< Doc >>=- #1 @8414
Date: Wed Sep 08 10:46:29 1993
From:  Whistlestop West [804-784-7014]

once  again, as always here, people are willing to show compassion, love  and 
support.  We should not feel cheated or tricked, used or insulted by the fact 
that  we  were lied to...we should feel affirmation of the  goodness  of  the 
people  who  responded  positively.  Score...1  little  cheater...bunches  of 
sincere,  concerned, compassionate and kind people.  I don't feel  the  least 
bit hurt.

[39|50] The post you're SPEAKING of Capri..........
Name: Hey Jood #1 @8403
Date: Fri Sep 10, 1993 15:50:02
From: Fire Chat BBS [804-330-0620]
Re: Yo, what is the deal?

was  a case of someone who has just begun reading the message base.   
I  happened to be watching her at the time - and she didn't read the WHOLE  
message base.  :)  Looks like she may be reading it now, however.

     I  have  been very quiet about the "Light Caper" - have  really  had  to 
think  about  all of this and the resulting posts after  Light  (Enigma)  was 
finally  found out.  I've heard MANY say that we have LEARNED something  from 
this  - something good.  I'm REALLY afraid that I can't go along  with  that.  
We, as survivors, have learned ONCE AGAIN, that you CANNOT TRUST ANYONE!   We 
have learned that because we are VULNERABLE - as those in ANY type of  
recovery  are - we are taken advantage of by those who need an atmosphere that  
is "delicate" in order to continue their OWN abuse of others.  What 
Light/Enigma did was HARMFUL - plain and simple.  It was WRONG.  Nothing GOOD 
came of this for us - but SOMETHING good could come of it FOR her.
     I  have to agree that she should be allowed back on the system - if  she 
can  FACE us - under her old and original handle - and there are  many  here, 
myself included, who are MORE THAN WILLING to talk with her about her actions 
- explore the FEELINGS behind the actions and BE HER FRIEND.  But ONLY in the 
arena of honesty and the true willingness to share the reality of FEELINGS  - 
not the fantasy of lies and deception.  Don't know about the rest of you, but 
I've  had FAR ENOUGH of that in MY life.  Because of our backgrounds, we  ALL 
exhibit  some type of dysfunctional behaviors - we may just not have done  it 
as publicly as Enigma chose to do it.  But, I CHOOSE to recognize my 
dysfunctional  behaviors  (when  they  arise) as PART of what I  need  to  and  
MUST ***FACE***  in  order to heal.  It may not be my responsibility that  I  
HAVE these  behaviors - but it is clearly my SOLE RESPONSIBILITY to FIX  THEM!   
I would  be more than willing to be a support base for Enigma as she  
continues on her VERY difficult journey - but ONLY if it's done with the most 
open  and honest heart that she can possibly muster.

[41|50] Safe in her home
Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Fri Sep 10 07:47:44 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
RE: After I have tried to be so cool about this situation It....
BY: Lady French #140 @2911

I don't think she enjoys a stable home life.  She is in a lot of pain, and 
taking drastic measures to get a little attention and love.
     I don't think she and Terminator are the same person either.   Different 
posting styles.

[44|50] Light/Enigma/This sub
Name: Capri #231 @8403
Date: Sat Sep 11, 1993 11:01:46
From: Fire Chat BBS [804-330-0620]
Re: Light/Enigma/This sub

Well,  glad to see that you are so callous.  If you KNEW it was BS,  why  did 
you  let it go on?  I'm new to this BBS, and was NOT aware that  some  people 
like you are capable of DOING ME SUCH GOOD!!!! Thanks bunches.  Your language 
is not commendable.

[45|50] Yes, that dog...I don't stutter
Name: Capri #231 @8403
Date: Sat Sep 11, 1993 11:07:09
From: Fire Chat BBS [804-330-0620]
Re: That dog?

Huh?  Sorry, I disagree.  You mean, I should have SEEN IT?  Thanks, but I
wasn't here when Enigma was around, so I DIDN'T see it coming.
And no, I'm sticking to my guns, that child must've had the devil in her to
do such a thing...
Sorry, I guess I trust people too much...Perhaps it's time to leave this sub?

[46|50] Nope, it's not time for you to leave this sub, Capri......
Name: Hey Jood #1 @8403
Date: Sat Sep 11, 1993 22:45:27
From: Fire Chat BBS [804-330-0620]

nor should anyone else leave it.  As YOUR sysop (this is his host system) I
KNOW that you weren't around during the Enigma days.  And this sub IS for the
purpose of discussing FEELINGS.
     I  do  understand the sub host's comments about not reading  and  really 
"getting into" ALL subs on her system.  Fire Chat is a very large system -  I 
have  well over 1000 users with high daily traffic and four telephone  lines.  
We have upwards of 75 subs on this system - I have lost count.  I DO NOT READ 
THEM ALL.  Something can very well "erupt" on a sub and I don't know about it 
until someone points it out to me - usually my husband because he reads  alot 
of  the ones that *I* don't read.  I also have a large population of  
adolescents  on my system and I am kept quite busy riding herd on them 24  
hours  a day - so no, I DON'T see everything that goes on.  It's "OK" for a 
sysop  NOT to  read  every golden letter and/or word posted on their  system.  
But  it's GREAT for her to supply a base, such as this one, for her users.  
     When  things go wrong - and in this case REALLY wrong - we have  to,  as 
sysops, step in and make changes as necessary.  Sometimes the losses have  to 
be  cut  quickly - whether or not they are emotional in nature.   I  have  to 
support  her in her decision to act as she has in the case  of  Enigma/Light.  
None of us REALLY knows how we might have handled it had it occurred from our 
OWN systems.  
     Let's  try to go on - keep on sharing and caring about one  another  and 
redeem  what  we have left in the extended rubble left  by  our  acquaintence 
Enigma.  It's up to US to make this sub what it's REALLY supposed to  be  and 
has always been in the past - overlooking a time period when one  individual, 
obviously  in EXTREME pain attempted to turn the sub into something  that  it 
was never intended to be.  Big hugs, Capri.

[50|50] Visions
Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Sun Sep 12 01:06:11 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]

RE: Why do you hope you're wrong?
BY: Capri #231 @8403

>Please, explain, if those visions were real to you, what significance they
>had.  Would you say it is accurate for me to assume that those visions were,
>either pertaining to another person, and you made a mistake, or, the other
>and less desirable choice, that the vision was altogether false, or just
>plain nothing?

     My visions were very real to me.  SOmeone had died, taking with them two 
children.   I now think these visions pertained to some other person,  and  I 
just  happened  to get "hooked in" to them.  I had been fasting  for  several 
days  previous on a community matter, so I was already in a visionary  state.  
Hooking  into  that death was just a matter of changing the  channel,  so  to 
     I don't think the visions were altogether false; they were too coherent.  
If you would like to know more specifics, let's take it to email.

>I don't want to offend you, but I feel offended, like someone has pulled my
>leg, which they have, and someone may still be, which I'm hoping to find out.

     Ok  so someone pulled your leg.  Get over it.  Learn something  from  it 
and  give  thanks for the lesson.  Hopefully, the lesson will not be  on  the 
order  of "people are lying SOB's, I won't have compassion on anyone  but  my 
immediate  circle  anymore." Instead, one of the lessons could  be  something 
like,  "when  faced  with  death, it is ok to counsel  each  other  and  weep 
openly."   Another lesson could be, "when someone offends you, do  not  curse 
them  or  call them bad names.  Instead, forgive them and  move  on."   Still 
another  lesson could be, "it hurts to find out that you have been  deceived.  
But  in  the long run, it is better to know the truth than to  be  deceived."  
There are probably others in this as well.
     SOmeone may still be pulling your leg?  Who might that be?  And what  if 
someone is pulling your leg still?  What are you going to do about it?   Will 
you  get mad and curse the trickster, or will you watch closely and see  what 
it is you're supposed to be learning from the trick?
     You see, here's where we differ.  I assume you're a jew or a  christian, 
as  you've quoted judeaochristain scripture.  There is no trickster  (that  I 
know  of)  in  the judeaochristian tradition; instead, people  of  that  trad 
vilify the tricksters of neigboring religions, painting them as devils.
     But  I  am a pagan, and in my traditions (plural, as I'm  a  mutt),  the 
trickster gets the respect due any teacher.  I believe that when one is being 
tricked,  one  should pay attention to what lessons can be learned  from  the 
experience.  The  lessons are often very valuable, and are often  of  such  a 
nature that they could not have been learned in any other way.
     The  bad taste most people get in their mouth after having been  tricked 
is  because  they  got mad, quit paying attention, and failed  to  learn  the 
lesson  of the trick.  They paid their tuition but didn't get their  diploma.  
They  feel cheated, rightly so, but they're not sure what they  were  cheated 
of.  The fact is that they were cheated of the lesson of the trick, and  they 
cheated themselves by getting angry and by failing to pay attention.
     And if you suspect that the person who posted as Light is now posting as 
Nightshade, please note that the "fingerprints" are different.

[50|50] i have to agree with nightshade
Name: mela #12 @8267 
Date: Wed Sep 15 01:47:56 1993

even though i am not a pagan or anything remotely resembling it. i don't know 
about his visions being attributable to a real death somewhere and he thought 
it  must have been light when he read the stuff; what i do know is  that  the 
"trickster"  is  a universal psychic construct. i don't know if  it  has  any 
objective reality but hell, does anything really have any objective  reality? 
the stuff about christians not having the trickster in there, well they  have 
it  alright but they think it is the devil. i think that's what happens  when 
any religion or any person takes themselves too seriously. which means if the 
trickster  doesn't  "really"  exist, you're still opening yourself  up  to  a 
trickster-type  experience because the first unusual, unexpected or  off  the 
wall  thing  that  happens  is  going to set  you  spinning  around  on  your 
head--just  like what seems to have happened to some of the folks in here  re 
this light thing. 

morale  of le story: don't get too complacent. there is a difference  between 
the kind of trust hey jood was talking about, and complacency. in  surrealism 
we take everything at face value, but always remembering that there is  stuff 
underneath or behind the scenes of what we see, particularly if we think life 
is getting too "ordinary". because just when you think you have got life  all 
figured  out, something or someone happens and you find out you don't  really 
know everything... life is just something you can't control!


[i  wrote something very much along these lines in response  to  nightshade's 
email to me... something about my framework of reality is different from  his 
but  that  i generally cut through the metaphysical part  because  i've  been 
there so much i'm trying to simplify everything.  i also told about dada  and 
surrealism  and  shock value, and about what a rascal guru is, which  we  all 
probably  need  one  or two of in our life, and said  in  confidence  that  i 
thought the whole thing was great and i wished light would come back and tell 
more stories.]

[5|5]: Pan American Indian Association
Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Tue Sep 14 09:12:21 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
RE: wrong again killjoy
BY: mela #12 @8267 

Sounds like a cool organizatoin. How do I get in touch with them?

By the way, are you planning to go to the Peltier demonstration in DC  
starting  Nov 21?  A friend and I plant to leave from here in New Orleans, we  may 
meet  up  with someone in Virginia, and possibly more people along  the  way.  
Maybe we can get a convoy together!

Thanks for the info on PAIA.

PS ... by the way, I'm female.  But I think it's neat that you referred to me 
as a "gentleman", as I am a man inside.
[told her I am too!]

[33|50] to Chrysalis re. Light/Enigma/This sub
Name: Queen Mother #33 @15286
Date: Sun Sep 12 00:14:21 1993
From: Alpha Complex [512-478-3332]
RE: Light/Enigma/This sub
BY: Chrysalis #1 @5415
Msg Status - No Reply Necessary

Thank  you  for posting your lengthy but reasoned and articulate  defense  of 
leaving  the  Light soap opera to unfold without your intervention.  I  don't 
agree  with  your conclusions but can respect your opinion. I would  like  to 
point  out,  in my own defense, that I only recently began  participating  in 
this  sub and had no knowledge of the Enigma history. Please do not think  of 
me  as simply gullible...I took the posts here at face value...I can see  now 
that I cannot be open and trusting here. That is sad...

[34|50] SysOp Responsibilities
Name: Jimmy Dickens #2 @29978
Date: Sun Sep 12 23:07:34 1993
From: SUNSHINE CORNER BBS [919-443-0112]
RE: Light/Enigma/This sub
BY: Chrysalis #1 @5415

I haven't been a SysOp as long as you have (11 years I think you said), but I 
have been around to know how much responsibility and humanity a SysOp  should 
have when attempting to run a BBS.  I hear SysOps complain all the time about 
getting  600+  messages in per day and answering 40+ E-Mails  and  am  really 
tired of reading this kind of crap.  If your BBS is too big for you to handle 
and  control,  you  should either take it offline, get someone  to  help  you 
control it, or take it down a few sizes.
     You  said that you caught the hoax about halfway through.  THIS  is  the 
time you should have stepped in, rather than sitting in your chair and laughing.   
This person hurt a lot of people on this sub, and I  PERSONALLY  think 
its  the responsibility of the SysOp if AND ONLY IF it is known what is  
happening.  Agreed, if something slips by you (E-Mail or a post that you 
didn't get time to read) its not totally your fault.  Also agreed, you did at  
least have  the  human  decency to let everyone know about the hoax,  and  
THAT,  I appreciate.  

Two things that really got to me about your post:

     1-  You laughed several times... knowing full well what was  transpiring 
and  knowing the responses that were being sent to 'Light'.  How can you  sit 
by  and  laugh  at someone who is ripping the hearts out of  so  many  people 
reading this sub across the nation?
     2-  You  said that YOU didn't do it, but WE did.... How do  you  explain 
that one? Again, the post came from your BBS and you KNEW about it (and  even 
laughed).  I  feel that your lack of intervention when you  first  found  out 
about the hoax was in itself contributing to the problem.

'nuff said
No aliases allowed on my BBS!  This solves a lot of LIGHT problems.

[36|50] Agreed
Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Sun Sep 12 10:47:42 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
RE: The post you're SPEAKING of Capri..........
BY: Hey Jood #1 @8403

HOnesty is paramount. If she'd done what she'd done on  a  fantasy  board,  it
would have been cool. And if she'd return under her original alias, apologise,
face up to what she's done, and accept the  consequences,  it  would  be  very
healing, to us and to her.

But I disagree that one of the lessons to be learned from  this  is  that  you
can't trust anybody. Human beings are social creatures. We have to trust  each
other, or we will die. The  wisdom  is  in  knowing  whom  to  trust,  and  in
recovering gracefully when one has trusted wrongly.

I, too, have been abused. Rather severely, in various planes of my  being.  It
is a very fortunate (and rather rare) person who hasn't been  abused  at  some
time in their lives. Ideally, from all this abuse comes lessons, many of  them
hard, and all of them high.

Frankly, I don't think "don't trust anyone" is a very high lesson. For some of
the lessons that could have been learned,  please  see  my  previous  post  to

[37|50] You as SYSOP
Name: The Mermaid #28 @9939
Date: Sun Sep 12 18:31:44 1993
From: Dyson's Sphere [ASV/GSA] [909-931-7395]

You  have done NOTHING wrong. I was totally shocked that anyone would  attack 
you  for not monitoring the post here. You shouldn't have too. We  choose  to 
read  the  post here, and in doing so must also take  the  responsibility  of 
being able to spot a fake.
     The person, light/enigma, deserves no sympathy. She is a total loser  at 
the game of life. It seems she knows only to well that she has problems but a 
worth  while  person realizes this does something to  better  themselve.  She 
seems to wallow in self pity. She knows if she truly wanted to make her  self 
"better"  there are people here and other places that would take the time  to 
do  so. Some people enjoy playing the part of the poor tourmented  soul,  she 
makes it here personality.
     So  SYSOP, you did no wrong. I personally thank you for taking the  time 
to  sort this thing out. Those people here who are worthwhile need not  waste 
their time with feelings for a girl who has none.

[39|50] It may have seemed more obvious from where you are.
Name: Miles #1 @9670
Date: Mon Sep 13 21:01:17 1993
From: Nowhere [916-836-1548]
RE: Light/Enigma/This sub
BY: Chrysalis #1 @5415

     We  tend  not to notice area of origination unless it was  local.   That 
probably  would  have been enough to tip it off.  Yes, you can color  us  all 
suckers.   Understand though, that she really does need help.  No  real  harm 
has been done, except to her.  You action was appropriate, and appreciated.

[45|50] to HEY JOOD on resolution of LIGHT problem
Name: Queen Mother #33 @15286
Date: Tue Sep 14 13:18:30 1993
From: Alpha Complex [512-478-3332]
RE: Light/Enigma/This sub
BY: Chrysalis #1 @5415

Msg Status - No Reply Necessary

     You posted to Capri (the "don't leave, Capri" post) that you  understood 
how sysops and sub-sysops could not be expected to read and follow every post 
in the subs. I agree with that. You also posted that you supported the action 
taken  to resolve the problem of Light's posts. I do not agree with that.  My 
reason  for disagreeing is that Chrysalis stated she was aware of  the  bogus 
sob  story  and allowed it to continue. Here's a quote from her  much  longer 
message on the subject:

>      I caught Light's story close to the mid-point and began  following  it 
>To  tell the truth, I knew it was Enigma by the spelling and poor  style  of 
>posting  and I laughed, not believing that you wouldn't all see it  or  call 
>her  on  it....but all she got was more attention.  I nearly  fell  off  the 
>chair  laughing  when "The Husband" posted his  "Death  announcement".   I'd 
>been  wondering  how  she was planning to get herself  out  of  this  sticky 

     Capri  wasn't here for the Enigma episode and neither was I. Even if  we 
were,  I  don't  see how the situation could have been  allowed  to  continue 
without  some intervention by Chrysalis...even if it was only to  communicate 
privately with Light that she should 'fess up, drop out, or be axed...

[47|50] Well, Nightshade
Name: Sweet Capri #231 @8403
Date: Tue Sep 14, 1993 07:12:00
From: Fire Chat BBS [804-330-0620]
Re: Visions

I am not quoting your msg...I'm replying to your talk about your visions, and 
whether or not I've been tricked, and your view on the subject.
     I disagree with what you've said, but, it does seem that you have a good 
head  on  your shoulders, and are, therefore, going to stick  to  your  guns.  
There  is  obviously little sense in an ongoing battle on this  board.   Your 
views and mine seem opposite, and so be it.
     Some  of the stuff that you speak of is somewhat offensive to  me,  but, 
that  is not your problem...I think at this point, the smartest thing for  me 
to  do, is that I can agree to disagree  :)   Let's drop it, and I'll try  to 
learn from you, if nothing else, to keep a bit more of an open mind.

[48|50] taking posts at face value
Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Tue Sep 14 09:06:50 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
RE: to Chrysalis re. Light/Enigma/This sub
BY: Queen Mother #33 @15286

"gullible...I took the posts here at face value...I can see now that I cannot 
be open and trusting here. That is sad..."
     Yep, that's one of the unspoken rules here, to take what is said at face 
     it bothers me that so many people say they've learned not to be open and 
to trust from this experience.  There are certain good lessons to be  learned 
from every experience, but I don't think this qualifies as a good lesson.

[49|50] Nope, Chrys isn't the moderator
Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Tue Sep 14 09:14:00 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
RE: hey capri...
BY: mela #12 @8267 

"because  chrysalis obviously has her hands full and she can't ride  herd  on 
this  sub all the time. shoot, it took this long to find out she was  moderator, 
i thought hey jood! was moderator."
     She's the sysop of the board where all this Light stuff originated.  Hey 
Jood!, as far as I know, is the moderator.

[44|50] Tsk, well.
Name: Sweet Capri #231 @8403
Date: Wed Sep 15, 1993 12:42:12
From: Fire Chat BBS [804-330-0620]

Gravity...It's a law we can live with...

Well, it's like this...I do agree, I flew off the handle.  That, I  should've 
handled  better.  I also agree, I got carried away with it all, and  that  is 
something  that's rather immature, especially on a BBS, and THAT, also, is  a 
durn shame, for me, for you, and for both sides of the issue.
     On  the other hand, I'm still smarting emotionally.  I still  don't  see 
the SysOps explanation as valid.  Way I see it, if you're THAT busy, take yer 
board  down, get someone to help you with it, or, at the very least,  cut  it 
down in size.  Seems rather like someone complaining they can't mow their big 
yard  on  their own...It may not be your fault how your BBS grew, but  it  IS 
under your control.
     Yes,  it  WOULD be nice if everything in life went my way, and,  oh,  so 
nicely.  I'm 'fraid that IS how I came across, and, at the time, that IS  how 
I felt. I apologize for THAT, also.  
     Look,  we can go on forever on this.  You guys on one side, me,  on  the 
other.  I don't care what comes out of it, I am sticking to my guns.   I  may 
apologize  for this and that, which, so be it, I handled impulsively.  But  I 
will  NOT  step down from my point of view, I'm sorry, it's just  against  me 
grain.  I can, though, let it slide at this point.

[45|50] Actually, the host of the sub is Maxie!
Name: Miss Scarlett #1 @3315
Date: Thu Sep 16 06:41:08 1993
From: On My Own [303-745-6594]

     but  basically, I think the sub runs itself for the most part.  About  a 
year  or so back, there was a user named Cat Lady and she posted some  family 
problems on here.  Well, one of her male relatives came on and like a  
steamroller blasted her, similar to the Enigma situation. 
     coming  on  strong like that does absolutely nothing for  the  situation 
except drive a person back inside themselves.
     After being duped, it's human nature to assign blame anywhere and 
everywhere. Part of the maturing process in life is to overcome human nature.
     If someone who chose not to post was dealing with SIDS (or knew  someone 
who was), the information given regarding a bogus story still applies to that 
situation.  That is why I said that Light/Enigma inadvertantly may have  done 
a good thing.  Just because the cause of the post was bogus doesn't mean  the 
information is no longer valid.
     With a good spell checker, Light/Enigma would make a great writer.   She 
has  a  really good imagination.  All she needs to do is get  her  act/mental 
health together.
     I think it's time to stop dissecting the situation and move on to  
something else.

[49|50] I think she has hit upon the crux of the problem....
Name: Kari Ana Smith #450 @2900
Date: Fri Sep 17 10:15:53 1993
From: Maxie's Toy [209-526-5899]
IN REGARDS TO: Tsk, well.

this sub is about expressing feelings.  Whether I agree with Capri or not  is 
irrelevant.  Capri was expressing her feelings and thoughts.  I do agree it's 
time  to go on and address real situations now.  I feel it might be wise  for 
all  of us to put aside the Light/Enigma saga, and continue on as  a  support 
sub and friends being here for each other.  If another incident happens, lets 
see  if  we can't pull together and comfort each other.  We might  find  
ourselves healing much faster.

[30|50] My Last statement....Chrysalis
Name: Chrysalis #1 @5415
Date: Fri Sep 17 09:37:35 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]

Dear people, first let me express gratitude to those of you who  have  written
here and in E-mail to support the actions taken on the Light saga. Intelligent
people learn from these kinds of experiences and move on.

I want you to understand that when some of you claim that I "sat  and  waited"
and let Light continue her charade,  you  don't  understand  the  time  factor
involved. I don't read this sub daily and rarely do I read all of it.  When  I
came in to check message flow, most of those messages had already been posted.
It was at about the point that her "husband" came in to make his announcement.
I went back and picked up the entire thread of the story...and for  me,  being
as experienced as I am with local users and their posting and spelling quirks,
it was a reasonable given that this "Light" character  was  really  Enigma.  I
think some of you were mostly offended by the fact  that  it  made  me  laugh.
Taking into consideration that I've been doing this BBS  thing  for  about  11
years and have seen just about everything that can happen in an  alias  system
(this is not a unique event), and also that I always laugh at Soap  Opera  and
Gothic Romance plots...well, I'm sorry. I  did  laugh  until  I  realized  the
potential for harm to you here.

At this point I also saw somebody that I care about reacting very  emotionally
to the story. Given the speed of Net message flow, none of you had posted  any
reactions on this end. I took one day to talk to Nightshade about this  fiasco
and try to convince her of it's falsity. The next  day  I  deleted  the  Light
account and posted my message to you all, hoping to spare you the pain that  I
had seen  it  cause  to  Nightshade.  She's  an  extremely  intelligent,  life
experienced, but soft-hearted person. This  business  did  its  damage  and  I
venture to say that none of you who post in here suffered  anything  close  to
what I saw it doing to her.

Once I had her looking at the posts realistically, and  convinced  her  of  my
theory (remember, at this point it was only conjecture...the proof on this end
came later and is involved with real-life info which has  no  place  in  alias
BBS), I deleted the Light account and posted my message.

I do believe it's a Sysop's duty to protect people from harm, whether that  be
from Personal exposure, alias exposure or deliberately hurtful word attacks. I
take that duty very seriously, but I also know that what I am able to do about
harm will come AFTER the fact. I can't prevent in all situations, I  can  only
hope to repair. I can't stop posts going out on the Net. I don't want to  slow
down message flow on an already cumbersome system by being forced to  validate
each one. This sub is especially high in emotional charge...given the  subject
matter. Nobody can protect you from an occasional chaotic  person  using  your
empathetic tendencies to play out a fantasy. There's no reason to fear or stop
believing what you read here...just protect your "inner core" until  you  know
the new users a little better and read  their  posts  in  context  before  you

I can't believe that Light will try to sneak back with another alias,  knowing
that I'm watching. The person behind that alias will never be allowed  on  The
Guild again with my full knowledge,  by  ANY  alias.  That,  and  the  warning
messages are all I can do here. The rest is up to you.

Put this behind you and move on, letting this sub be whatever  it  has  always
been in your lives. Too much energy is being wasted on anger that results from
your feeling duped. Too much anger is being directed at the wrong people  (not
to worry...I'm used to that, as all Sysops are). I'm not going to post on this
subject again. Learn from it and move on with your lives.

[31|50] I can vouch for that
Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Fri Sep 17 23:28:05 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
RE: My Last statement....Chrysalis
BY: Chrysalis #1 @5415

For the first few weeks, Light's fantasies were a harmless game, she  posting 
stuff  about  a fabricated personal life and we giving her  the  support  and 
attention she needed.  It was only when she "died" that things got weird.

Here's the timetable:

Monday morning -- Light's "husband" gets on, announces her death
Tuesday -- Light's "teacher" gets on, accepts condolences and discusses 
Wednesday  --  Light's "teacher" continues to post, Chrys talks  me  back  to 
reality  via email while my teacher does likewise via phone and face to  face 
Thursday  -- Chrys posts her message to all, letting us know that it was  not 

Four  days,  people.  I know it seemed like it lasted much longer,  but  time 
stretches  when  things are weird, and things were very weird.   Chrys  could 
hardly have acted any faster than she did, and I think she did fine.
     Many  of  us suffered, but as Chrys noted, I doubt if  many  people  out 
there  took it as hard as I did.  I really did do all the stuff I said I  was 
doing.   The path I am on requires that I be truthful at all times.  So if  I 
can  forgive, I who am not even a worshipper of a great man who  once  taught 
forgiveness and was crucified for it, why can't we all?

[36|50] Well, Nightshade.........
Name: Hey Jood #1 @8403
Date: Fri Sep 17, 1993 09:45:56
From: Fire Chat BBS [804-330-0620]
Re: Nope, Chrys isn't the moderator

I wasn't AWARE that I was the moderator.  But, if folks would like to
HAVE  a moderator  on this sub - I would be very glad to take the
position.  Unfortunately,  my system doesn't HOST this sub which would
make control of  posting (except  from my own system) a little
difficult.  Shall we discuss  having  a moderator? (Then *I* can get
axed when something fouls up!  :)  )

[40|50] Done nothing wrong?
Name: Jimmy Dickens #2 @29978
Date: Sat Sep 18 17:04:34 1993
From: SUNSHINE CORNER BBS [919-443-0112]
RE: You as SYSOP
BY: The Mermaid #28 @9939

Then I guess by your statement that even if the SysOp had NOT stepped
in  and straightened the whole thing out, everything would still be
ok?  I'm  responsible  for everything that goes out on my system and
every other SysOp is  as well.   To me, it was not a matter of
overlooking messages, but  laughing  at some  of them as they tore
deep into the hearts of many readers who  were  so willing to help
with the situation.  Sorta like yelling "Wolf".

[41|50] Hey Jood is Sysop of Fire Chat.  Light, et. al. are from
Name: HangDog #331 @8403
Date: Sat Sep 18, 1993 08:06:00
From: Fire Chat BBS [804-330-0620]
Re: Nope, Chrys isn't the moderator
> BY: mela #12 @8267 
> >thought hey jood! was moderator.
> She's the sysop of the board where all this Light stuff originated.  Hey Jood
> as far as I know, is the moderator.

Light, et. al., are from The Guild.  I *think* Chrysalis is sysop of The

[43|50] Hey Jood isn't the moderator, either.
Name: -=<< Doc >>=- #1 @8414
Date: Sat Sep 18 21:13:33 1993
From:  Whistlestop West [804-784-7014]
RE: Nope, Chrys isn't the moderator
BY: Nightshade #303 @5415

The  host of this sub is @2900...whoever that is.  They have had a  generally 
laissez faire attitude towards the sub in the past.  It is up to the users to 
do  their  own monitoring or the subscribing sysops to use net val  if  their 
users get out of hand.

[45|50] Capri, just for another record.
Name: -=<< Doc >>=- #1 @8414
Date: Sat Sep 18 21:24:42 1993
From:  Whistlestop West [804-784-7014]
RE: Tsk, well.
BY: Sweet Capri #231 @8403

Sometimes size of a bbs has nothing to do with sysop non-interaction.   There 
are  plenty  of  subs on Whistlestop that I never look  at...they  are  there 
because  some user or another wanted them and I carry the sub for  them,  not 
me.  World War III might break out on one and, unless someone calls it to  my 
attention,  I  wouldn't know.  The difference in this situation is  that  the 
sysop DID know and allowed it to continue...that, I believe, was an error  in 

[46|50] That is what I was trying to say.
Name: -=<< Doc >>=- #1 @8414
Date: Sat Sep 18 21:26:29 1993
From:  Whistlestop West [804-784-7014]
RE: Actually, the host of the sub is Maxie!
BY: Miss Scarlett #1 @3315

/situation.  That is why I said that Light/Enigma inadvertantly may have done a
/good thing.  Just because the cause of the post was bogus doesn't mean the
/information is no longer valid.

I just got caught on my tongue.

/With a good spell checker, Light/Enigma would make a great writer.  She has a
/really good imagination.  All she needs to do is get her act/mental health

I disagree with this assertion unless she wants to turn out cheap, pulp books.

[33|50] No, you're missing something here.
Name: Nightshade #303 @5415
Date: Mon Sep 20 19:24:11 1993
From: The Guild [504-282-8270]
RE: Trickster
BY: Ray #74 @8119

>     If the native people of this country honor the trickster as a  teacher, 
us white folks must be very honored! No more bitching about screwing over the 
red man, why, we were only being good teachers.
     The trickster respects the person or group he is taking for a ride.   He 
rarely  causes true harm, and then only when the person is fighting him  real 
bad.  He does what he does in order to teach a lesson.
     But  where is the respect shown the red man by the white man?  The  harm 
he  has done is very clear, even to peaceful tribes which do not fight.   And 
what is the lesson?

[38|50] Far too much being made of Light/Enigma situation...
Name: Lovecat #2 @9939 [Sensual Seraph]
Date: 09/21/93 at 10:00:50
From: Dyson's Sphere [ASV/GSA] [909-931-7395]
[Regarding]: My Last statement....Chrysalis
[From User]: Chrysalis #1 @5415
[Recipient]: No Reply Necessary.

Sure, many were upset/affected, but jeeze, get over it and get on with life. 
Big deal, in other words....

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